Achieving Next-Level Success

Alan Lazaros

[00:00:00] Ed Watters: ~~ ~~ ~~ ~~~ ~~ ~~ To overcome, you must educate. Educate not only yourself, but educate anyone seeking to learn. We are all Dead America, we can all learn something. To learn, we must challenge what we already understand. The way we do that is through conversation. Sometimes we have conversations with others, however, some of the best conversations happen with ourselves. Reach out and challenge yourself; let’s dive in and learn something new right now.

[00:00:55] Today, we are speaking with Alan Lazaros. He is the CEO of Next Level University, he is a speaker, a podcaster, and a business coach. Alan, could you please introduce yourself? Let people know just a little more about you, please.

[00:01:12] Alan Lazaros: Okay, so first and foremost, gratitude first, always. Thank you for having me, I appreciate it. I started listening to podcasts nine years ago, and they really helped me sort of reorient my life in a much more constructive, transformative, as we’ll talk about direction.

[00:01:29] And, uh, as for a little bit more about myself, I’m a computer engineer who has his master’s in business, who had a lot of adversity growing up. I lost my father, uh, he passed away in a car accident when I was two. I had a stepfather from age three to fourteen, my stepfather left my family at fourteen. And then I sort of bootstrapped my way to trying to achieve many, many goals and dreams.

[00:01:53] Then I had my own car accident at twenty-six that really had me face mortality in a really meaningful way. But that was my big transformational moment where after that I went all in on self improvement, I turned my passion into purpose, into profit. And now I have a business that, essentially I lead a twenty-one person team now at Next Level University.

[00:02:11] It’s a podcast, but it’s also a business. And we help people who have, no matter how hard your past has been, no matter how hard your present is, you always have a next level and you have a spotless future. And so you can take more personal responsibility right now and you can improve yourself. And the only way your life improves is if you improve. And so that’s really what I’ve built my, not only career, but my life around.

[00:02:32] Ed Watters: Well, I sure do want to take the time to commend you and Kevin. Both do excellent work as podcasters and the content that you provide, it’s priceless. So I want to start here, What do you define as success, Alan?

[00:02:52] Alan Lazaros: So that’s actually the, the question. And thank you for the compliment about Kevin and I’s work, I really appreciate it. [00:03:00] It’s the most meaningful work in the world. So how do we define success? So my job as a business coach, I have twenty-eight people on my roster right now. The youngest is sixteen, wants to start a YouTube channel. The oldest is 63, been in business for decades, wants to grow and scale. All different walks of life, all different countries, all different backgrounds, all different industries,

[00:03:18] so it’s been fascinating. But what I think matters most is, success looks different for all of us. To me, specifically just me, my unique version of success, I have it written in the corner of my office, it’s on a whiteboard. It says, You are here to maximize your own unique potential and to help others do the same,

[00:03:38] everything else is secondary. And so for me, success is number one, reaching my potential, my own unique potential. And number two, helping other people do the same. And of course, profitability and quality of life, and being in love and healthy, wealthy and in love. But ultimately my main mission, my main purpose, my main focus, my main calling is reaching my potential and helping others do the same.

[00:04:05] Ed Watters: Yeah, that’s, that’s a good definition. Uh, a lot of people, they seek success, but they don’t like to reflect. And I really feel that reflection about where we came from is truly important to reach the ultimate level of success. What’s your take on reflection of where you’ve been?

[00:04:32] Alan Lazaros: We have this thing called the success loop and it’s five steps and it’s simple but powerful. The first one is believe. So you believe in a person, place, thing, or idea. Second one is implement. You do something, you take some action. The third is reflect. And you mentioned reflection. So after you implement something, you have to review and reflect, even this podcast episode. So when you send me this, when it launches, you know, I’ll review it and I’ll reflect on our conversation

[00:05:01] and hopefully I’ll learn something. So number four is learn. And then number five is improve. And it has to be in that order because if you don’t reflect and learn, you’re not going to improve. A lot of people don’t stumble upon improvements. And then you go right back, if you improve, hopefully you go right back to believe.

[00:05:20] Which is, now you believe in yourself even more. Now you believe in your abilities even more, that’s the success loop. The, the doom loop is the, the one that you gotta be careful of. And in my coaching, this is essentially, I just try to keep people out of the doom loop. The doom loop is, I don’t believe in something, so I don’t take action, so I don’t get results, which makes me believe in it even less.

[00:05:43] And that can be such a vicious downward spiral. And so the success loop is the opposite, which is believe in it, implement it, reflect on it, learn from it, improve it, rock and roll momentum, momentum, momentum. And so, and just stay humble because if you [00:06:00] don’t stay humble, a lot of times you’ll, you’ll get hubris, you’ll get cocky, you’ll get arrogant, and then you’ll stop doing the reflection, to your point of what reflection means,

[00:06:09] you’ll stop doing the reflection. If you don’t, if you lose your humility, you’ll stop reflecting. And if you stop reflecting, you’ll stop learning. And if you stop learning, you mentioned your listeners are lifelong learners. And if you aren’t a lifelong learner, who’s reflecting and learning and contemplating, you’re probably on your way to a downward spiral, even if you don’t know it,

[00:06:28] Ed Watters: That’s right. You know, and bargain basement have, the, it doesn’t really have a meaning until you have hit rock bottom basement. And I’ve been there quite a few times in my life. I’m close to fifty-nine looking at that sixty mark now, and I reflect back often to Why am I here today? Why am I podcasting? Why am I talking to Alan? And that journey of transformation for me was outstanding. It was hard, it was difficult. I went through drug abuse,

[00:07:08] I went through alcohol abuse. My marriage was tanked so many times because of my decisions. And I reflect back on the choices that I make often. Choices are a big part of that transformation and if we don’t surround ourselves with the people that help us make the proper choices and hold us accountable, life really is going to be in that bargain basement we, we just mentioned. So what is the best way to really climb out from that desperate need for whatever it might be? Because I know you’ve been there also.

[00:07:58] Alan Lazaros: Yeah, thank you. So thank you for, uh, that question because I have been there. So I used to, pre car accidents. My car accident was at twenty-six, pre car accident, I drank too much and too often. I had high school friends and college friends and corporate friends. And the company I worked for was called Cognex and they used to, their slogan was Work hard, play hard. And I used to say, Work hard, play harder. And I’ve, I’ve definitely been in that loop of, how do I have as much fun as possible, alcohol, drugs for a short time. I, I have been to a place where I had very low self esteem when it came to that.

[00:08:44] And I, I remember, I don’t struggle a ton with self doubt, I never really have. But I remember when I was trying to quit drinking, I remember thinking, Am I actually going to be able to do this? Which for me is very weird, and I just want to be honest and transparent. I [00:09:00] think a lot of people listening can probably tell that I’m not someone who struggles with a ton of self doubt,

[00:09:04] but I did with this. And I knew I could do it, I knew people do it, but it was definitely one of those moments of, Am I seriously not going to drink at my own wedding? Drinking alcohol was so ubiquitous, so commonplace where I grew up. Where I grew up, it was so normal to drink alcohol and to have alcohol be a part of every social gathering.

[00:09:31] And it took me, I playfully joke, I say it took me five years to quit drinking. I would, I would quit for a while and then I’d go to a wedding and, uh, the social anxiety would come up and it’d be open bar and then one would turn into two, two into four, four into eight, and it would be off to the races. But so I haven’t drank now,

[00:09:48] I used to count the days, I stopped counting the days when I felt free of it. Uh, I want to say my last, I know my last drink was in the summer of 2019. So that means I’m coming up on five years, I’m, I’m actually past five years. That’s, that’s awesome, uh, yeah, thank you. So that’s cool. But yeah, so I’ve been there and that’s the doom loop.

[00:10:10] I doubt myself therefore I don’t take action and therefore I don’t get results, which then makes me doubt myself even more. And, and, or you try to quit and then you fail and then that makes you feel even worse, which makes you want to do the thing. And so you got to be careful, the doom loop. The doom loop is, I don’t feel good about myself

[00:10:30] so I surround myself with other people who don’t feel good about themselves. I feel like a failure so I numb it with alcohol or drugs or escape or whatever addiction, all the vices, right? You, you’ve got gambling, you’ve got, uh, pornography, you’ve got, uh, drugs, you’ve got alcohol, all the things that feel good in the moment, but are not what’s best for you.

[00:10:53] So after my car accident at twenty-six, I flipped the script and I really looked in the metaphorical mirror and I really, more than anything, I just got humble. I got really humbled. I have this really cool framework that I call the three circles of the ego, and I think all human beings have all three, but, but the size is different and I’ll explain.

[00:11:13] So the outer circle is what you want others to believe you are, that’s your persona. That’s what you post on social media, everyone does it. The next inner circle is what you want to believe you are, meaning the stories you tell yourself about yourself. And then the last, the last circle, the inner circle, this is the important one, is who you really are.

[00:11:33] This is who and what you really are when no one’s watching. After that car accident, all three circles became the same. And I’ve been working really hard for the last nine, almost ten years now, since twenty-six, I’m almost thirty-six in November, to keep those three circles the same. I want who I want others to believe I am, who I want to believe I am, and who I really am to all be the same.

[00:11:58] And that, I, I always [00:12:00] say the distance between circle three and circle one is the size of your ego. And if you haven’t been humbled yet, life is going to come and smack you down. And that’s the metaphorical Phoenix, burn down ego, death, rise anew from the ashes. So for me, it was my car accident and I work really hard to try to stay in the truth and try not to kid myself about myself.

[00:12:21] And when you do that, here’s the cool thing, if you are delusional, I call it delulu, and you tell yourself lies, and then you, you know, put on this persona, you pretend to be fulfilled when you’re not, what happens is you, you’re like a GPS with inaccurate data. You’re like a self driving car that has low self awareness, meaning an inaccurate current location, and inaccurate destination address, and, and inaccurate data on the terrain.

[00:12:47] So you keep driving off a cliff and then not knowing why, when in reality you just don’t see yourself, others in the world accurately, because you don’t want to face unpleasant truths about yourself. And I think that all of us, whether it’s divorce, or a car accident, or mortality, or the death of a loved one, or the death of a pet, or whatever gets you that humble pie, you’ve got to eat humble pie proactively. Because otherwise you’re going to have to eat it all at once and that’s, uh, really traumatic.

[00:13:17] Ed Watters: Yeah, being authentic is very important. And, you know, uh, I went all the way back to number twenty-five of your episodes. I was trying to get to number one, but I couldn’t find it. I’m gonna keep finding, searching. But, you know, that, that natural ability to be a podcaster in this case, uh, you, you guys really tend to be natural at it and that, that comes from confidence, really. I, I really believe that’s confidence that drives that ability to step up to this microphone, this camera, and really share your innermost secrets, desires, and feelings to the world, this is very difficult. I know this firsthand. I’m here with you. How did you acquire the skills so young? To become what you are now.

[00:14:25] Alan Lazaros: Yeah, thank you for that. Again, I really, I mean, my goodness. The fact that you went all the way to episode twenty-five is wild to me. Uh, I would say we’ve improved, we’ve improved a lot. Um, we’ve improved a lot. But I do feel like Kevin and I, we coach a lot of podcasters, we produce fifty podcasts, including three of my own and, technically two of my own, because one of them is kind of on pause. But the point is, is we didn’t know we were good, it’s almost like we didn’t think we were that [00:15:00] good, but we kind of thought we might be good while also thinking we kind of suck so that we could get better.

[00:15:06] It was all of that kind of all at once. And 1800 episodes in we better be decent, right? But ultimately, how did we get to a place where, I listen to old content, and you mentioned authenticity, and vulnerability is a part of authenticity. I think it’s vulnerable and courageous to make those circles the same.

[00:15:29] And that means that you own your successes, and you own your strengths, and, and you also own your weaknesses, and you own your failures. I think that true humility, I think, is living in whatever’s accurate, whatever’s true. So you don’t pretend you’re the man when you’re not, and you don’t pretend you suck when you’re actually awesome.

[00:15:49] It’s, it’s just owning what is. And it’s taken me thirty-five years to figure that out. But how did we get to where we are? I would say it was the success loop. It was, we believed in the podcast, we believe in self improvement, we believe in acute awareness. Hyperconsciousness is what it used to be, The Hyperconscious Podcast is where we started.

[00:16:08] And then we rebranded to Next Level University 600 or 700 episodes later. But ultimately, it really was that success loop. We just stayed consistent, and we always reflected upon these concepts, and we contemplated ourselves, and we contemplated other people, and we got to know our listeners, and we learned how to communicate more effectively, and we learned what humility is, and what belief is and how to build it, and self worth versus self belief, and we, self awareness, and over time we just,

[00:16:39] we focused on getting a little bit better each episode, not just better at podcasting. We tried, we used to say, Character over everything. So Kevin and I both grew up without fathers. Uh, my father passed away as I mentioned when I was two, and then I had a stepfather who left at fourteen. He grew up without his, he never met his dad until he was twenty-seven.

[00:17:01] That was the first time he ever met his dad was when he was twenty-seven. So I think unconsciously we were trying to become the male role models that we never had. And then ironically, paradoxically, we, most of our listeners are actually women, so that was fascinating. But ultimately it really came down to every single episode

[00:17:19] we would show up to the microphone as the best, what, what we wanted to be the best version of ourselves and we failed forward and every single episode had some mistakes, filler words. I remember we had an, um, jar at one point. Every time I said, um, I had to put a dollar in the jar. And we just tried to get a little bit better each time.

[00:17:40] And now he’s done 1800 on our show. He has a podcast, Growth University Podcast with 130, I think. I have a podcast called Conscious Couples Podcast with, I think we’re at 135, 136 as of this week with my girlfriend, Emilia. And he’s been on about a thousand other [00:18:00] shows. I think I’ve been on about 400. But ultimately the reason I say all that isn’t to brag,

[00:18:04] what I’m saying is we just got a tiny bit better each and every time. And so if I seem like a strong order who has a lot of confidence, I think there’s two types of confidence, I think there’s confidence in your abilities and then external achievement and then I think there’s confidence in who you are.

[00:18:20] My therapist, Carol, she said to me, It’s amazing the work we’re doing together, you’ve become so much more confident. And I said to her, I said, No one’s ever said that to me before. I’ve never, I’ve never, my confidence has never been questioned. I said, Most people think I’m arrogant. So she said, No, no, no.

[00:18:38] Confident in who you are. And I was like, Oh, interesting. Those are two different things. I’ve always been confident in my abilities. I’m good at stuff, as arrogant as that sounds, I’m not as confident as who I am as a man. And that’s the courage piece, the social courage piece in particular. Cause I realized in hindsight, I was an absolute social coward.

[00:18:58] That’s one of the reasons I used to drink so much. But anyways, so, so one percent better every single time we try to get a little better. And back to the reflection piece that you had mentioned, we reflected each time on how to do better. We have something called Most important win, most important improvement.

[00:19:15] What was the, okay, that episode, awesome. Okay recording done. What was the most important win? All right. Well, I think we really had a good topic there and I think we were really pulled to talk about it. I thought, I think we were really authentic. Okay, good. Most important improvement. Alan, you say you know, like, and, um, sixty times in an episode. Cut the crap, right?

[00:19:35] So even there, right, question mark. I always say right at the end. I’m trying to use less filler words and use more powerful pauses. And so that’s just one example of one thing that I want to work on. But when you do that thousands and thousands of times, eventually you end up, what other people think are really good.

[00:19:53] Ed Watters: Yeah, and, and it does. It takes a long time to actually train your mind to be consistent in removing those little, um, uh, because they’re really just there to pause long enough to grasp a thought. And as you podcast longer and you talk with more people, those ums do come less often because you’re cognitive more often when you’re in constant discussions.

[00:20:25] And I, I love, that’s where podcast has brought me, you know, I was a very unsecure, unaware individual that was mad and through podcast conversations, it’s brought this awareness to me. We’re all in the same boat together. And that has made me dive onto this discovery ship with so many interesting people on this ship. And [00:21:00] I really think that the waters is a boat taking you to a journey

[00:21:06] that you have no clue where you’re going. And if you find it interesting, you’re a very deep theoretical thought type of person. And if you’re worried, I, I think you’re a different layered individual with many complicated things that you haven’t figured out. So that confidence comes in many different ways. And once we do find that, it’s a gift that, nobody’s taking it from me,

[00:21:44] I know this for a fact. I want to spread love, light, and hope to the world. And podcasting is, given me that power. Now, I haven’t had the high success rate yet, but I, I am on a trajectory to overcome all these difficulties. And that’s where we really have to remember, we’re on a ship and we don’t know where we’re going with whatever it is. For me, it’s podcasting. Because that, right now, is what my life is about. I want to make something of podcasting. What is the journey for you in the coming days with your podcasting and your partnerships?

[00:22:40] Alan Lazaros: So the vehicles, you mentioned a ship. I have three vehicles, I call them trains. And the reason I use a train is because when you have momentum on a train, they’re kind of unstoppable. But in the beginning, they, it’s really hard to get them going, really hard to get them going. So I think a train is a good metaphor, but I like the ship metaphor as well. Because with the ship metaphor, you’ve got the storms and the tide and you still got to try to find a direction and all that stuff. But anyways, so the three trains for me are podcasting, training and coaching. Podcasting and the purpose underneath that.

[00:23:16] So what’s the point of the trains? It’s not about the podcast, the training, and the coaching, it’s what are you doing? And so underneath that, the purpose is what I mentioned earlier of the, maximize my own unique potential and help others do the same. So that’s underneath these trains. But the way I deploy that purpose is through these trains, podcasting, training, and coaching.

[00:23:35] Podcasting is one to scale. Training is one to many, so we have a group coaching program we do every quarter with ten individuals, so one to many, and then coaching is one on one. So I just got off with my client, Cole, right before this and we do essentially, so I have this goal achievement system, it’s really simple.

[00:23:54] It’s not easy, but it’s simple. What’s your goal, top three goals for the year? Break it down into the quarterly [00:24:00] goals leading to the ultimate mission statement, the goals and dreams. And then there’s this, the four things that you really need is, number one, you need a clear, specific, measurable goal. Number two, you need metrics that you track.

[00:24:11] Number three, you need habits that you track. I’m a big habit tracker. And then number four, you need the identity. So a lot of people, unfortunately, they don’t identify as the type of person who can achieve the thing. So I went to Kev not long ago and I said, I realized this, I’m reading a book called Identity Shift in book club right now by a man named Anthony Trucks, who’s actually a friend of ours.

[00:24:38] But anyways, so I came to Kev and I said something along the lines of, Do you identify as an achiever? And he said, No, not really. And I said, Isn’t it interesting how you came to me all those years ago and you wanted to achieve all these things, but yet you don’t identify as an achiever? And I had this moment and I said, Do you think, do you think that if you identify as an achiever, you would be more likely to do achiever stuff and then achieve more?

[00:25:07] And he said, Yeah. Here’s the conundrum though. Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become, aka the identity. That’s a James Clear quote from Atomic Habits. I identify as an achiever, so I’m more likely to achieve than someone who doesn’t identify as an achiever. I used to identify as a drinker now,

[00:25:26] I’m not a drinker. Instead of, if you offered me a drink, I wouldn’t say Uh, No, thank you. I’m trying to quit. I would say I don’t drink. I don’t identify as someone who drinks alcohol that’s why I don’t have to count the days anymore. Whereas in the beginning, I had to count the days. So the identity piece is the piece that I think a lot of people don’t have figured out.

[00:25:48] And unfortunately, if you don’t have the identity, you probably won’t take the action. And if you don’t take the action, you’ll never get the identity. So it’s this weird conundrum that you get stuck in. And a lot of times, the reason I figured this out is because I would set up metrics and habits and track metrics and habits toward goals and dreams with clients.

[00:26:04] And then when they would leave my coaching, they would go, they would lose the results. And I realized, Oh, I’m not their, their, don’t have the identity to uphold those metrics and habits without me. I’m not, I’m giving them a fish, I’m not teaching them how to fish. And more importantly, I’m not just giving them a fish.

[00:26:25] I’m not, I need to be not just teaching them how to fish, I need them to teach themselves how to fish. Now you’ll always be better off with a coach than without, if it’s a good coach. However, I can’t have you relying on me, as your coach, to actually be able to coach yourself. Because I coach myself, I am always looking and reflecting,

[00:26:48] What do I need to do? Uh, What am I not doing that I know that I need to be doing? What am I telling myself a story I’m above doing that I know would help? I’m asking those questions all the time, that’s what coaches do. They ask compelling questions, they [00:27:00] hold you accountable. They help you track metrics, habits, and they help you build the identity necessary to actually achieve the thing. If you don’t identify as a football player, you’re never going to be in the NFL.

[00:27:11] Ed Watters: That’s right. Yeah. You know, it’s, it’s really important to track our habits. You know, you mentioned tracking habits. That’s, that’s really what brought me awareness to my habits is when I started paying attention to them and noticing when they, how frequent they came up. It is really telling in many ways. A lot of that comes from framing the right mindset for each and every day. So how do you start the day and frame your mindset for the day?

[00:27:55] Alan Lazaros: So I try really hard to have a good morning routine. I have this system, so I break my day into thirds. And I got to say this, too, I’m, I’m an achiever who is not, uh, normal in, in, in, how do I phrase this without sounding pretentious? I’m nuts and obsessive and I have really big goals and dreams. So take what you want from this. It’s like a buffet, you don’t have to eat it, eat all the food. All right. So I break my day into thirds.

[00:28:26] I work six days a week, technically seven, but I do front facing stuff six days a week. So I work Monday through Saturday from 10 a. m. to 7 p. m. is front facing. Really 6 p. m. because I have an hour of back office after that, but I break my day into thirds. The first third is for me, the second third is for service,

[00:28:44] the third third is for fitness, food, and family. And so when I wake up, I don’t set an alarm, I’m very grateful at this point to be able to do that. I don’t set an alarm. Emilia and I, we’re in the bedroom at 10 p. m. We hang out, we do our thing, we, we go to bed. I wake up when I wake up and it’s always before ten

[00:29:05] so I’m not gonna miss a meeting. Depending on when I wake up, I, I take the pets out, I do that kind of thing. But then I, I need to feed my mind, I need to. So I grab a protein shake and a, I have these protein pop tarts that are, have high fiber, they’re awesome. And I do that and I, I, earlier this morning, I’m taking a course, it’s called Relentless and I just feed my body and I feed my brain.

[00:29:34] Then I transition into sort of taking self care. So shower, brush my teeth, get my morning routine going, get dressed, get ready for my first front facing meeting. Then my first meeting is at 10am and my last meeting’s at six. I do podcasting, training, coaching, department meetings, that kind of thing. And then at six, I immediately shut off,

[00:29:55] I go downstairs, I get into gym gear, I put my hat [00:30:00] on. I have two modes, really, I have fitness mode and, I have a relaxing fitness mode and I have work front facing mode. I don’t really have any in between. And again, I’m kind of a nut case. So understand that. Instead of nut case, I’ll use obsessive.

[00:30:13] I’m an obsessive individual. Okay, so the moment from six to seven, I have an hour to crank out my back office work to prepare and close out the, close the store, so to speak, so that I can actually, from seven to ten, focus on fitness, food, and family. And by family, I mean my girlfriend, Emilia. We live together and we have three pets. So we have two cats and a dog

[00:30:35] and it’s wonderful. It’s wonderful. And then I hit the bedroom at ten every night, we’re twenty-seven days in a row right now of hitting the bedroom at 10 PM. And then we do our thing and we go to bed and then I rinse and repeat. Sunday is adventure day. So Sunday I do work, but it’s not any front facing work. So we have a rule of no front facing on Sunday

[00:30:58] so you couldn’t schedule this podcast on Sunday. Now, one thing I also want to mention to everybody, I didn’t start here. Uh, you can’t start a business and dictate your own schedule. Like, I now have twenty-eight clients, I’ve got twenty-one team members. We’ve been doing this for a long time, we have enough demand. I can kind of dictate my own schedule now, but I didn’t start there.

[00:31:23] I used to have to do 6 a. m. whether I’m on the road or not. I didn’t get to, you can’t just, Oh, I’m going to start my own business and then dictate my schedule. That’s, you can’t start there. Eventually through massive earning it and hard work and work ethic, you can eventually create your own schedule. And so I just want to make that as clear as possible.

[00:31:39] But yeah, Sunday is adventure day. So that’s when we plan these mini trips and stuff like that. When we travel, I do the same thing. And I still work Friday and Saturday front facing because my calendar is always full. And then Sunday we’re, we were at the lake, uh, her, her family has a lake house that’s amazing.

[00:31:58] And we still worked all day Saturday and then we cut it at six. We spent the evening with them and then all day Sunday we kayaked and we did all kinds of cool stuff. So people ask me, How do you have a life? Uh, the truth is, most of my life is my career. That’s by choice. And you don’t have to do that, but you can learn from some sort of systems and structure. Because I think most people don’t have enough systems and structure. Everyone wants to be successful, but very few people want the disciplines and systems and structure necessary to actually sustain it.

[00:32:30] Ed Watters: That’s so true. You know, and you have to step into that framing your mindset to achieve that. So, you know, a lot of people, they, they find happiness with money and success. Could you be happy with just you and your gal and just being the two of you? [00:33:00]

[00:33:00] Alan Lazaros: Yeah. So, uh, Emilia, Emilia is the best thing that’s ever happened to me. She says, Happened for me. Uh, she said, You became the man that, that could attract me, that kind of thing. But ultimately greatest gift of my life. And in some ways, and this might be weird, but I, and I’ve never really shared this publicly probably but, at least not to this extent, I put human beings in these two main camps. And I don’t want to put anyone in a box so understand that I’m doing this, uh, just, just to explain a concept.

[00:33:40] So I grew up in a really tough environment. Now, I was born in the U. S., which is the largest economy. I understand that. Uh, most people see me now and they assume I had a silver spoon. Uh, you know, well educated, articulate, blonde hair, blue eyed, tall, male, Caucasian. I mean, most people just assume that I was a silver spooner.

[00:34:06] And I understand why they do, and that’s whatever. It’s fine. But that wasn’t the case at all. I had three main advantages in life, and I can give you them right now. Number one, I believed in myself a ton. I always have, no matter how dark it was. Number two, I do feel gifted. And I used to never share that because if you are gifted, you’re scared as hell of sharing it because everyone thinks you’re an arrogant a-hole.

[00:34:30] Um, and, but I am, I definitely am gifted. Particularly mathematical intelligence, um, reverse engineering finish lines. I could party all night, still get straight A’s on all the calc exams, type of thing. And then, and then the third thing, uh, that I’m very grateful for is I was born in a country that invests in powerful minds.

[00:34:50] And so when my stepdad left, my dream was to go to WPI, which is kind of a mini MIT, Worcester Polytechnic Institute. It’s one of the best engineering colleges in the world, and it was 50, 000 a year, and this is back then. So I went from, I can’t wait to get in, to holy crap, even if I do get in, I can’t go because we don’t have the money.

[00:35:10] And fortunately, I got tons of scholarships and financial aid. And so luckily, Massachusetts invested in me, and I got no interest loans, and I got scholarships, and I got financial aid, and I wouldn’t be the man I am today if it wasn’t for that. So, those are the three advantages that I had. Now, the interesting thing, and this is, I’ve reflected on this a lot, I started doing therapy a lot in my thirties, I’ve re watched the movie of my own life a hundred times.

[00:35:34] Kind of, those are the only three advantages. The rest of my life was pretty freaking terrible. Particularly my childhood, okay? So, back to the two camps. I think there’s two main camps that we all adopt unconsciously. And I’ll tell you mine, and then I’ll tell you the one that other people have, and I’ll tell you a brief story about me and my ex [00:36:00] girlfriend,

[00:36:00] okay. I was born into a very adverse situation. Father died when I was two, stepfather and mom did not get along, and that’s a polite way to put it. It was adversity. There’s something called an ACE score, Adverse Childhood Experiences, and if you take the ACE score or study any childhood trauma stuff, you, you’ll find where you fall on the statistical bell curve,

[00:36:26] okay. And I was on the, I’m on the very, very, very, very high end of Adverse Childhood Experiences. Now, I am fortunate in this. People say adversity is your advantage and I don’t agree with that, unless you have high self belief. Adversity was always my advantage. Because if you have high self belief, you’ll take that adversity and you’ll transform and you’ll be stronger and smarter than ever.

[00:36:49] My trauma response was aim higher, work harder, get smarter. But I know some people who don’t believe in themselves and trust me, that was not their trauma response. Their trauma response was escape, disassociate, drugs, alcohol, you name it, okay. And I did a little bit of both, right? There you go, okay. I did a little bit of both, but mostly it was achieve, achieve, achieve.

[00:37:10] It was aim higher, work harder, get smarter, mostly with a little alcohol along the way. I’ll tell you what, okay. The main camp that I’m in, I actually think life is supposed to suck. I was born in a situation where life was adverse and unconsciously I created this narrative of life is suffering, life is hard, life kind of sucks by default. But despite that, you can make it meaningful and you can make something of it.

[00:37:43] That’s camp one. I think that’s very empowering, I think that’s more accurate too. I think life is inherently adverse, some more than others, okay? There’s this other camp that I’ve always had trouble with and my ex girlfriend, one of my ex girlfriends had this camp. She grew up in an environment that was very spoiled and she had everything handed to her and that kind of thing. Some people, that other camp is, I think life is supposed to be good and every time it’s not I think something’s wrong with me or something’s wrong with the world. To me, I think that’s a very dangerous attitude.

[00:38:20] And the reason why is because those people, when things aren’t good, they get, they kind of throw hissy fits. They, they, they don’t, they don’t transform. They think something’s wrong with the government or something’s wrong with the, the world and they don’t take as much personal responsibility. And here’s the thing, there’s a lot wrong with the government and the world,

[00:38:39] I get that. It doesn’t matter, it doesn’t matter. I didn’t want my dad to die, I didn’t want my stepdad to leave, I didn’t want these things, it doesn’t matter. And there’s a little bit of suck it up buttercup, it’s your responsibility. Your life is your fault and it’s your responsibility. It’s not your fault

[00:38:56] you had an alcoholic parent, it’s not your fault you were beaten, it’s not your fault your [00:39:00] dad died. It’s not your fault. But it is your goddamn responsibility to make a meaningful life out of that. And so that for me, I think is the most empowering thing in the world and it definitely saved my life in many regards.

[00:39:13] And I, whenever bad things happen, I always find a way to take personal responsibility for it. And then, although that’s massively painful and ridiculously challenging, I do end up better off statistically in the long run. And I think that that victimhood thing, I have this quote that I’ve been contemplating a lot lately.

[00:39:35] What happens when the victim never plays the victim? When the victim never plays the victim, I think they become the hero of their own story. And eventually they become the guide and the mentor. But if you play the victim of poor me and feeling sorry for yourself, you need to watch some movies like Hotel Rwanda, or, uh, Blood Diamond, or Slumdog Millionaire, and you need to get some perspective.

[00:40:01] I call them perspective resets. Every time I think my life is hard, Oh, poor CEO Alan with this awesome education, who went to one of the best schools in the world. Like, I can’t even feel bad for me. Even though there’s a lot of adversity. Seriously, my life’s not that easy. Honestly, it’s actually gotten harder when I was, I’ve gotten more successful.

[00:40:20] It doesn’t matter. I got interviewed once by someone who was born in Rwanda during the genocide, and it was the coolest interview ever. And I just realized, Alan, you are soft, man. Like you’re, and so again, I don’t want anyone to feel bad about feeling bad because now you met a feel bad. And I’m not trying to say there isn’t depression and all that stuff.

[00:40:43] What I am, and I’m not a therapist, so I’m not a therapist. Here’s what I am saying, I think personal responsibility of what you say, think, do, feel, and believe and what you say, think, do, feel, and believe in response to what happens to you is the most empowering thing in the world despite the fact that most things in life are probably not your fault. But they are your responsibility and that’s the only path upward, I think.

[00:41:08] Ed Watters: I agree. You know, that’s, that’s probably the highlight of this podcast episode. If you cannot take responsibility, you’ll never propel forward. Because we all mess up, I mean, I’m, I’m one of the biggest mess ups. But just because I was stuck at one point doesn’t mean that I can’t rearrange, readjust, and make my life something I need it to be. Not what Henry, or Joe, or Mary wants it to be.

[00:41:42] And that’s very important to remember. We all have something to give. What is your gift and how are you going to make it happen? That’s what it’s about. When I got injured, I thought my life was over and [00:42:00] I was dead. And then I found podcasting and now I realize the world is limitless and all I have to do is readjust, re evaluate, and then make it happen.

[00:42:18] Baby steps work, it doesn’t have to happen overnight. And this is one of the things you highlighted earlier, those baby steps. Taking little short jumps, and it really matters a lot. You know, Alan, our time is running short, and I could speak with you for hours on this subject. I really want you to highlight what you do, how people can get in touch with you and have your offers that you offer available to them.

[00:42:52] Alan Lazaros: Thank you so much. Again, start with gratitude, end with gratitude. I really appreciate it, thank you for this interview. Also, the, the tiny courageous moments that you mentioned, that’s what it’s about. The tiny, courageous moments that, that despite adversity, and, and in the face of adversity, and in the face of fear, and in the face of obstacles, and someone rising above difficult circumstances is the most inspiring thing in the world.

[00:43:18] I think that’s what we all need. And so, you know, kudos to you overcoming your challenges and, and trying to be a more virtuous, better man, I think is ultimately what’s underneath all this. So that’s awesome. I used to say, I want self improvement to spread like COVID. And I don’t say that anymore because that comes off wrong.

[00:43:36] Uh, even though my engineering brain does want that to happen. Uh, what I say now is COVID spread 2, 4 , 8, 16, 32, it spread exponentially, and I, and I hope that same thing happens with self improvement. So, um, thank you for being a part of that. As for where you can find me, nextleveluniverse.com, spelt just like it sounds, nextleveluniverse.com. The podcast is actually Next Level University. So the person with that URL was charging too much money, so we decided to do nextleveluniverse.com, which encapsulates all things next level. And the podcast is one percent improvement, holistic self improvement, health, wealth, life, and love in your pocket from anywhere on the planet, every single day, completely free. And the idea is no matter how hard your past has been, no matter how hard your present is, you have a spotless future that you can take personal responsibility for right now. And, and, no, you might not be a billionaire, but you can make it better.

[00:44:36] You can make it better with what you say, think, do, feel, and believe. And if you want some guidance, or some help, or to just go on that journey with other people trying to get to the next level, we have a community, we have a podcast, we have private Facebook group, we have WhatsApp accountability groups, we’ve got all kinds of cool stuff.

[00:44:52] So you can check out the website, you can check out the podcast. And I know that being a part of a community that’s all trying to get better [00:45:00] is much less lonely. And I can tell you that from experience.

[00:45:05] Ed Watters: Yep. You know, the, the main theme is transformation and you really have to suck it up buttercup because it happens to all of us. And once we do suck it up and we start doing those baby steps, the world is wonderful and you will find that out for certain. Alan, I want to say thank you for being here today and being part of the Dead America Podcast.

[00:45:36] Alan Lazaros: Thank you for having me. I really appreciated this conversation and, uh, it was an honor. Thank you.

[00:45:44] Ed Watters: Thank you for joining us today. If you found this podcast enlightening, entertaining, educational in any way, please share, like, subscribe, and join us right back here next week for another great episode of the Dead America Podcast. I’m Ed Watters, your host, enjoy your afternoon wherever you might be.