Speaker A [0:04]
A war-winning truth cuts through the haze, confronts the darkness in these end times days. A single match struck against the fear, hope ignites, drawing redemption near. Can you feel the tremble in the ground? A buried heartbeat making sound. We all live in Dead America, but the dawn’s creeping across the panorama. This dead awakening, change begins from broken places, hope unpins. Yeah, we all live in Dead America, one healing spark starts the fire. Burning brighter, taking higher.

Ed [0:57]
Today we’re speaking with Mr. Jay. He is a betrayal trauma practitioner. He’s an author, got a couple books out. Mr. Jay, could you please introduce yourself? Let people know just a little more about you, please.

Mr. Jay [1:17]
Well, certainly. And thank you so much for giving me this, this time and opportunity. I am Mr. Jay. I am a betrayal trauma practitioner. I’m also a father and a family man and many other things. But as far as my field, what I do is I help people help themselves on the journey from betrayal to breakthrough. So as a betrayal trauma practitioner, a lot of people assume all trauma is the same and all trauma is not the same. Betrayal trauma is unlike any other trauma. So it’s a niche within a niche. It’s a very Tough field. It’s an emotional field, but it’s fascinating as well. So I, some people fall into a career. I believe this actually found me because I did not wake up one day and say, hey, I want to go into this field. I, it was, it happened after a death in my family. Where I experienced a panic attack, actually. And when I did a lot of introspection and self-reflection on what in the world was a panic attack, because I’ve heard of panic attacks before, I’ve worked with clients with panic attacks, but never experienced one. And boy, there is no substitute for experience. So it was in that that I found, you know, trauma, unhealed trauma, developmental trauma, childhood trauma. Which led me into the field of betrayal trauma, which is a fascinating field, like I said.

Ed [2:56]
Yeah, it’s interesting. Betrayal, it happens all the time in our world, and a lot of us are just oblivious to that, and we don’t recognize how much of it actually exists in just our everyday, day-to-day doings with people. We are betraying And we are betrayed all the time. So like you said, it’s not just a marriage, it’s your world. You’re living in a world of betrayal. And what caught my eye and interested me the most was you said your betrayal started as a child.

Mr. Jay [3:42]
Yeah.

Ed [3:43]
And that is so key to, I think it’s the starting point of fixing yourself when you understand that. Could you talk to us a little bit about that, please?

Mr. Jay [3:57]
Listen, 100%. Let me first respond to what you just said by saying this. Betrayal trauma has to include some type of dependency or reliance upon. So, um, I, I couldn’t give you betrayal trauma right now. Well, maybe if I stood you up on this interview, although even then I probably wouldn’t have given you betrayal trauma. Betrayal trauma has to come with a reliance or a dependency on. So you could have betrayal trauma from a parent because you rely on them, you depend on them. You could have betrayal trauma from, say, a boss or a job because you rely on that boss, you rely on that job to feed your family. You could have betrayal trauma certainly from a spouse, you know, a significant other. You could have betrayal trauma from, say, yourself, your body, or your creator, if you believe in, you know, a higher power. Because I work with many people who say, Mr. Jay, I was very healthy and I exercised and I meditated, and I was still diagnosed with A, B, and C, an incurable disease or stage 4 this and that. So I feel like my creator betrayed me or my body betrayed me. So as long as there’s a dependency or reliance upon Now here’s the deal, going back to what you said, uh, for the sake of this interview, if you don’t mind, I want to use the example of, you know, a, a, the majority of people that I work with, which is spousal infidelity. There’s all kinds of different betrayals, but spousal infidelity is one of the big betrayals. And what I say all the time is, and this is my own findings, so you’re not going to find this in any research. These are my own findings. What I say all the time is that when we deal with a spousal betrayal, the focus of healing is so much on the spouse, the partner, the significant other, but really the more so than not, the first harm is our first betrayal because betrayal trauma hits us at our core insecurity. Our core insecurities often start in childhood. Getting back to what you just said. So a lot of people are like, well, he or she needs to do this and he or she needs to do that because they betrayed me. And they’re absolutely right. He and she needs to do all this. However, he or she can’t heal your attachment, your identity. Now that’s fragmented. Only you can do that. So he or she absolutely has their own job to do. And a big job they have and a consistent job they have. But if you think you’re going to sit back and enjoy a cigarette while they’re doing all the work, oh no, no, because your identity was broken and only you can fix that.

Ed [6:39]
Yeah, that’s huge. And it goes along with another thing you talk about is betrayal blindness, because I really, I’ve been a victim of this betrayal. I’ve put it out, I’ve received it. And I’m talking about marital infidelities. And this is one of the worst in my personal opinion, because it strikes right to the heart of where you live. And when you can’t trust the one that you love the most, what can you trust? And this feeling is deep and it’s rooted in this visceral hate of whatever happened. And sometimes you can’t even grasp what has happened in that moment. So getting over that, you really need to understand about the betrayal blindness in a way to be aware of what you’ve actually went through. Now, I can actually say that my wife was very unaware in many ways when certain betrayals were happening, or she was blinded by these warning signs. So I’d like to hear a little more from you about betrayal blindness.

Mr. Jay [8:12]
Certainly. And let me just say this once before I just give you some information on that. One of the main things that betrayal blindness Um, can help us with, because there’s a lot of damage that betrayal blindness actually does, believe it or not. Even though it’s a natural, normal, healthy part of our biological makeup, it could— it actually does some damage, and I’ll get into that. One of the main things, once we understand what be— uh, uh, betrayal blindness is, is that we now, we don’t personalize it so much.

Speaker A [8:45]
Mm-hmm.

Mr. Jay [8:46]
And I’ll let— so let me, I’ll give you that. So for instance, betrayal blindness is this. It’s a part of our, uh, um, nervous system, the fight, flight, freeze. And what it does is it’s our body’s natural way of only, um, it’s our brain’s main job. Our brain’s main job is to keep us safe. That’s it. Keep us safe. Keep us alive. Keep us safe. So what happens is that when we find out certain things in our relationship, let’s just see, you know, say, well, okay, we see some blonde hair in our partner’s car. We see, you know, um, some lipstick in the glove compartment. We see, um, our wife having coffee with her boss at, you know, a coffee shop. What we have a tendency to do, because betrayal blindness kicks in and we start explaining away things.

Speaker A [9:41]
Mm-hmm.

Mr. Jay [9:42]
Oh, my wife is just so nice and kind. She’s probably helping her boss because he’s going through a hard time in marriage. Oh, uh, my husband is so nice. He probably gave his secretary a ride home. That’s why there’s hair in his car. So betrayal blindness kicks in, um, because betrayal blindness wants to keep us safe. The problem with betrayal blindness is that when reality hits in, kicks in, And now we, uh, the bomb happens, which is called D-Day, Discovery Day. And now there’s no denying it. This is what’s going on in our marriage. Now we’re trying to heal so many things that have been devastated and broken while we are so disattached to ourself because we allowed betrayal blindness to come in and excuse things away. And now this is where we hear a lot of people say, how could I be so dumb? How could I be so stupid? How could I be so foolish? It was right in front of me. You’re not dumb. You’re not foolish. You’re not stupid. Betrayal blindness kicked in. Your body did what it did naturally. So now you’re trying to heal whatever it is you got to heal, whether it’s yourself, your relationship, your marriage, your broken identity, your attachment, everything. And I’ll tell you something. You said something before. You said this is one of the most heartbreaking— I forgot what word you used. One of the most devastating, hurtful traumas. And I can’t tell you how many times I’ve worked with people who say, Mr. Jay, I’ve lost children and I’ve been betrayed by my spouse. Being betrayed by my spouse hurts more. So it is, it is, it is a pain unlike any other pain. And I’m going to tell you something now that we’re on this topic. Betrayal trauma is different from other traumas for a couple key reasons. Number one, because of the secrecy of it all. So if you lose a child or if you lose a parent, that can be traumatic, but you’re gonna have your boss giving you some, you know, bereavement time. You’re gonna have your neighbors and friends coming over with lasagna and macaroni and cheese. You’re gonna have maybe church members or whomever give you cards. It’s, it’s a, it’s a cultural community grieving process. When you discover the person you loved and trusted probably more than yourself. deceived you, the last thing you want to do is get on the phone and say, hey, this is what just happened to me. So it’s a very quiet process because you feel so alone. The next reason why it’s so painful and unlike any other traumas is because of the personalization of it all. If you lose a parent or something like that, it sucks, but it’s a natural part of life. Waking up one day and finding numbers under your mattress of your spouse who’s, you know, hiring prostitutes or going to, you know, escorts, that’s not a natural part of life. It’s very unnatural. And so you personalize it. What was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I enough for my spouse? Why wasn’t I, you know, and then you start, yeah, did I gain a lot of weight? Is my bust too small? Or is my penis too small? Is my breath stinky? Is my— we start personalizing all these things. And the last reason why betrayal trauma is unlike other betray— traumas is because trauma in general affects the here and now and the future. If you have a parent die, it’s sad and it’s going to affect today and it’s going to affect your future. You’re not going to celebrate Thanksgiving with your parents anymore, Christmas with your parents anymore, Mother’s Day. With betrayal trauma, it not only affects the present and the the future, but it also affects the past. Because now you can’t look at vacation pictures the way you used to. Now you can’t drive down certain streets or pass by certain restaurants or even pass by certain hotels or go to certain hotels or motels, because, you know, especially if you’re, you’re the one you trusted was a part of that. So it’s the only trauma that affects the past as well as the present and the future.

Ed [13:46]
That’s very interesting. The ripple effect is big on this, and we don’t realize until years down the road how it has affected us and everything and everyone around us. We act different after that point of impact. So there are ways out of that. these issues. And the best thing is that inner look and you, that intrapersonal look at yourself and finding out why you are acting this way and doing these things. You have to trace it way back into childhood and sometimes before childhood to understand what is actually happening and why you are ticking the way you are. And then you can readjust and simulate what you want to be in your life, and then you become it after that simulation period. So could you talk to us a little bit about how to overcome the fear, the anxiety, the anger, You know, the resentments, all of these things. I, for one, have found the best thing is truth. What about you?

Mr. Jay [15:18]
Well, truth is a good foundation. It’s a good starter, and it will certainly set you free. You know, one of the things I want to say, and I may stand apart from other people in my field, I don’t like to use the word get over or heal. Because a big part of betrayal is grief, and I don’t think we ever get over grief. We simply incorporate it. So, um, so, um, no, absolutely you can incorporate this betrayal in your life. And certainly if a person wanted to, they could even reconcile. As a matter of fact, 90% of my clients Reconcile after this, statistically speaking, and I know depending on the study could be different, but about 75% of couples that experience infidelity do come back, reconcile, and they’re actually stronger and happier than they were before, to be honest with you. Now, that’s not a recommendation for somebody to go cheat. I’m just saying. Um, um, so, so absolutely. One of the things that I say all the time Is, uh, if I’m talking to the person who was betrayed, I’ll say, number one, you have to take full responsibility for how you showed up in the relationship. You have to take full responsibility for how you showed up in the relationship. However, you take zero responsibility in the fact that your partner went outside of the relationship. So it’s, it’s, it’s a very touchy, you know, situation. Um, now going back to childhood, one of the things that you really need to do is you need to, what I was saying before, understand your core wounds, start healing your core wounds, because that gives you the capacity to now have the ability to heal more effectively. Because if you don’t heal your core wounds, your core insecurities, then what you’re doing is you’re putting concrete over a pothole on a road. And it only takes so many times when a big truck runs that over where the concrete just caves because the pothole was never dealt with. You just laid concrete on top of it. So, you know, I tell the person who stepped out, listen, you have to have full honesty, full transparency. You have to be proactive with, with where are you going? What are you doing? You have to keep your promises. You need to get into some counseling, coaching, therapy, what have you. You need to look at some workbooks, do some reading, watch pod— uh, videos, listen to podcasts. You have a lot of work to do. However, for the person who was betrayed, you have just as much work to do. Slightly different, but just as much work to do. You need to, as Rose said, are you ready to go back to Titanic? You need to go back to the Titanic. You need to go back and say, okay. What were my grandparents like? How did they raise my parents? How did my parents raise me? How did that affect me? What’s my attachment style? What’s my love language? What are my core insecurities? This is a journey, a long, tedious journey, but one that’s well worth it if 2 people decide to do it. Because I always say, in this particular area, the journey is far more important than the destination.

Ed [18:39]
Oh yeah. For sure. I can really say that’s true. I married my wife in 1985. We got together in ’83. That’s 42 years in the same relationship. But boy, this relationship with the betrayal starting early in it, and I would say within the last 3 years, 4 years, maybe 5, is when we really started overcoming. And we are now pretty rock solid. We are upfront with each other, and that’s very important. You’ve got to get comfortable, but in that rock solid way, not just complacent comfortable. And there’s a difference. I mean, if I’m unhappy about things, I respectfully come forward with it and say, hey, we’ve got to talk about this. And now my wife is the same way with me. And it’s a good feeling when you can be upfront and comfortable that it’s okay to address The issues. So I feel that the quicker that you can get to that point in your life where you’re in that comfort zone where you can just man up and take it, per se, I really think that’s the Goldilocks zone. And it takes a lot of work, like you were just talking about, to get into that zone. What’s your thoughts on that?

Mr. Jay [20:26]
Yeah, you know, it’s interesting because like I’m also a wedding officiant. And so a lot of times if a couple comes to me and they’re like, you know, we want to get married, we want to hire you to, you know, officiate our wedding. And one of the first questions I ask them is, you know, do you want any, you know, premarital coaching? And, you know, a lot of times it’s young couples. I’m like, oh no, no, because love is going to get us through. And I’m like, yeah, okay, there’s another Disney movie. And here’s the deal, Ed. So many times I’ll be officiating a wedding and in my head I’m thinking, man, these two are exchanging I dos and they don’t even know who the I am is. And what happens is both parties come to the wedding table with a huge Santa Claus sack of their own problems and issues that when they say I do, they’re expecting to say, okay, here you go, my love. Here’s my problems. Now you’re gonna fix me. And the problem is nobody’s got that intelligence, wisdom, time, knowledge, nothing. And they’re also got their own satchel saying, okay, well, here’s my problems. I want you to fix me. Then you have people that have avoidance tendencies, people that have been raised with, you know, not the best examples of love or relationships, people that have maybe some developmental issue. I mean, 9 times out of 10, people get married and they are ticking time bombs. And this is why, you know, as much, this is why I say the journey is much more than the, than the, uh, destination because nobody ever wants a bomb to go off in their relationship. It’s, it’s, it’s devastating. It’s hurtful to the core. But if it does happen and 2 people are aligned to say, we’re going to make this happen, we’re going to, we want to make this work. I don’t know how we’re going to, and there’s going to be times we want to give up. And that’s common and natural, but we want to make it work. The people that actually do the work, they come out with an amazing relationship that they never thought possible. They never thought possible because now, not only are they dealing with their marital issues and dealing with trust issues and dealing with betrayal issues, but finally, for once in their life, they’re going back like Rose to the Titanic. And they’re healing their first traumas that they never dealt with.

Ed [22:52]
Yeah, the inner child is really important to deal with because you have to learn to love yourself. And it’s okay that you’ve messed up. Messing up is like building blocks of discovery. And if you’re open to saying, okay, let’s not do that again. Let’s try something else. This is when those building blocks really make sense. So when we set boundaries, it’s about us. It’s not about, these are your laws, you’re not going to do them to me. We often think that’s what boundaries are, but boundaries, especially in a man and wife relationship, are set for the individual. And it’s up to the individual to express themselves and say, okay, this is my limit. Could you please not step over that limit? And if you have to, can we be courteous about it? Setting those boundaries and adhering to your own boundaries is important. What’s your thoughts on that?

Mr. Jay [24:11]
Yeah, no, a couple of things. First of all, um, well, I just want to say, uh, husband and wife or any marriage dynamic, because I work with a lot of different dynamic couples, but absolutely. And you are right that boundaries are like a religion. We don’t take on boundaries because we want to force other people how to live. We take on boundaries because we, that’s how we’re going to decide to live. Now, if somebody wants to come into our intimate inner circle, Then they need to respect our boundaries. But I just want to say this. What I find a lot of people have a challenge doing is, number one, what is a boundary? How do I even create a boundary? Where— so one of the things that I have clients do is create a values assessment. What do you value? You can create 3 things, 5 things, 7, 10, 647,000. Doesn’t matter. What are the things that you value? Then after you write down the things that you value, hone them down into, you know, 6 or less, whatever, then invert those into boundaries. Those are your boundaries. Now, what’s the second most challenging thing is when somebody violates those boundaries, how do I enforce them? So a lot of people are like, well, my boundaries get crossed all the time. Okay, well, we teach people how to treat us. So what are you doing to enforce your boundaries? I mean, you know, if I say don’t come on my property and you come on my property and I look the other way, I just told you to come onto my property, you know? So how are you going to enforce your boundaries? And this could be, you know, one time with a nice little reminder. Hey, don’t forget I asked you not to come on my property, remember? You know, I’m using this as an example because I live in the most amazing neighborhood with the most awesome neighbors. Anyways, the second thing could be, you know, hey, listen, we need to have a chat. I asked you not to come on my property. And I feel very disrespected. You know what? The next thing is maybe you need to put a fence up, or the next time, or call the law, or the next time, you know, whatever. So enforcing boundaries, I think people have a hard time with. But absolutely. And the other thing too is understanding who you are, loving yourself, respecting yourself, knowing yourself so you can have the, The Constitution to enforce boundaries. So all this plays, and it’s a lot of work. It’s a lot of work. And a lot of this does come back to, unfortunately, you know, I, I’m not one of these people that say everything goes back to childhood, but really in a lot of ways, a lot of it does because we come into this world for the most part on a clean slate. Not exactly, but for the most part. And we learn a lot of stuff that are damaged. Parents taught us, who learned from their damaged generation parents, you know, and so on. However, we don’t, if we don’t, I always say, if we don’t transform our trauma, we’re simply going to transfer our trauma. And that’s one of the things that we have to be careful about, because now I have young kids and I was born and raised with a lot of trauma. And if I don’t transform my trauma, I’m simply just going to transfer it to the next generation.

Ed [27:16]
That’s right. You know, and that’s taking agency and that is key to a successful life. To be happy in life, you have to have agency over your life. That means controlling and setting those boundaries. It’s easy once you learn how to do it, but very difficult getting there. And sometimes it’s easier to Ask somebody that’s been there for some help, some guidance, some wisdom, and then practice at it. Because I can tell you from experience, you’re going to try, you’re going to fail, and you’ve got to figure out what’s going to stick for you, your relationship, because every life is unique, it’s special, and you should be able to apply yourself to loving yourself enough to say, this is what I want for myself. And I really think that’s very important. Is there anything that we should cover that you find would be helpful to our discussion today?

Mr. Jay [28:30]
Wow. Oh my gosh. Do you have days? Absolutely. One of the things I just want to say is, We throw around the terms like love and forgiveness and all this other stuff, which is fine, great, and dandy, but I don’t even think a lot of people have defined what that is for themselves. So, you know, like for instance, all the majority of couples all day long, love you, love you too, love you, love you too. What the hell? What does that mean to you? What does love mean to you? You know, um, it would be really nice to define that because What love means to you might not mean the same thing to your significant other, your spouse, your partner. And so you want to be on the same page with that. And, and not that you have to be on the same page, but then you can both understand what do you mean when you say I love you? Same thing with forgiveness. You know, I can’t tell you how many times I’m asking my clients, well, because they’ll say, well, I forgive you, or they need to forgive me. Okay. First of all, what does forgiveness mean? Because you can’t, it’s, well, I don’t wanna say you can’t, but it’s very Hard to give away what you don’t have yourself. So number one, that you define forgiveness. And if you’re going to use words like let go or forgive, then tell me how you’re about to go through that process. So how do you, what is your definition of forgiveness? Number one. And before you even think you have the right to give it to somebody else, have you given it to yourself? Because it’s, again, it’s very challenging to give to— listen, if I say, Ed, can, can, can I have $10 right now when you only have $5 in your pocket?

Speaker A [29:58]
Yeah.

Mr. Jay [29:58]
You can’t give me $10 as much as you might want to. You only have $5. So, you know, if somebody says, you know, I want to forgive certain people, you got to have forgiveness within you. And it starts with self-forgiveness. Then you can give it to others, which I will say too, a lot of people have a problem with forgiveness. And let me just say this. Everybody’s definition of forgiveness is different, but I think forgiveness is very helpful and necessary. You’ll find other mental health professionals that say it’s unnecessary. That’s fine. I think it’s necessary because it cuts the emotional tie you have with that person as far as the activity. So for instance, if I come to your house and I take $500 outta your dresser drawer, right? And you say, well, Mr. Jay, I need my money back. No, I’m not gonna give you your money back. I’m not. Mr. Jay, I really need my money. No, no, no. After a while, you might say, okay, you know what? I’m, I’m going to forgive you. Well, first of all, what does that mean? Because now when you think of me taking your money, is there a pang in your stomach? And if there is, that’s not forgiveness. So you have to cut that emotional tie. Now, on the topic of forgiveness, you have to forgive the fact And then you have to forgive the impact. So let me explain that. Let’s just say I come into your house and I take $500 outta your dresser drawer, right? Okay. Well, now you’re like, well, Mr. Jay, I can’t, I can’t feed my kids now for a couple of weeks because that was my grocery money. Okay. But then after a couple of weeks, you’re like, you know what? We survived. We went to church, we got some free food, my family stepped in, whatever. I want to learn how to forgive Mr. Jay because every time I think about this, I get very angry. And I deserve peace. That’s what forgiveness is. I deserve peace. Well, then what happens is that now you have to borrow your phone bill to pay your cable, and then you have to borrow your cable bill to pay your car, and then you have to borrow your car bill to pay your mortgage. And now things are getting shut off. And now you’re thinking about this and you’re livid with me. You’re like, I can’t believe that Mr. Jay did that to me. And then you might be thinking, well, wait a minute, I thought I forgave him. Well, here’s the deal. You forgave the fact, but you still have to continually forgive the impact. So forgiveness is not a one and done. And I think a lot of people get confused with that as well.

Ed [32:22]
I find that interesting, that aspect there, you know, and I have this analogy, the muddy shoe life, people, places, and things. That’s the mud on a muddy trail and we’re a muddy shoe walking down the muddy trail of life. People, places, and things, they can get very heavy, like clay mud. So you’ve got variations of mud in your life. How much mud can you pack? So my suggestion is find the first rock and scrape as much of that heavy mud off because it’s going to tire you out. And you’ve got to make it to the end of your life. And many people don’t recognize that they are mud. And if you don’t scrape them off, maybe they never will. So that means they’re still on the trail. There’s other people coming along. Maybe we’ll meet those people down the trail of life a little further down and they won’t be so heavy of a mud. Maybe they’ll get wet along the way. So I always try to think about things in a light of possibility, of good, and a prosperity outlook of things, even though You might be in the dark, you’ve got to see yourself in the light to actually get anywhere. So how do we find the light to turn on to get rid of the heavy mud?

Mr. Jay [34:18]
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I think that comes down to finding one of the main things, Finding purpose. And I think a lot of times people try to find their purpose from their passion. Really? We find our purpose from our pain. And I’m laughing, and I don’t mean to laugh, but like a lot of times people are like, oh, I love animals. I just love animals. I want to work with animals. And that will give us some peace, and that will give us some relief, and that will give us some joy, whatever. But when you, and that’ll give us passion, but when you want to step into your purpose, that’s, that’s, we find our purpose through our pain. And, but here’s the deal, Ed, listen, and I get it. I’m human too. People don’t want to sit in their pain. We’re humans. We want to run as far away from pain as possible. The problem is, is the, is the issues are in the tissues. And if we don’t Specifically tell ourselves, I have to lower myself into the cave and I have to fight my demons because it’s when I come out of that cave, I now am a completely different person who knows my strengths, my weaknesses, my passions, my pain. And in that, now you can become an authentic person to pursue what life should be for you.

Ed [35:49]
You know, Mr. Jay, I really enjoy what you’re doing out there. You’re providing a lot of great content for people to consume and get ahead in life, per se. They need to have somebody like you to look on to. How can people connect with you?

Mr. Jay [36:07]
Well, I have the easiest website, I think, on the face of the earth, is mrjayrelationshipcoach.com. However, even if people never want to hear my voice again, see my face, know nothing about me, I still have a lot of great free resources on my website from lots of interviews, lots of information, lots of— so again, it’s mrjrelationshipcoach.com. Just come for the free resources. If you decide you want to talk to me, wonderful, great and dandy. But, um, I stepped into my purpose in life because I didn’t want to die. and have everything that I went through and the lessons I learned die with me. So please learn from my mistakes.

Ed [36:48]
That’s the best gold right there of the interview. Pass it on and help people climb the mountain of life. I love what you’re doing, and thank you for sharing it here today.

Mr. Jay [37:02]
Thank you, Ed.

Speaker A [37:23]
Woke up with the weight of that desert sand and the knife left buried deep inside my hand by a friend who wore a smile. Like camouflage. Yeah, some battles leave a deeper kind of scar. Learned the silence after trust just falls apart. Felt the darkness trying to swallow up my heart. Ain’t no uniform could shield me from that pain. Just a hollow echo left out in the rain. Then one dawn, I dropped the knife. Felt the sun warm my shaking hands. Heard a whisper in the wind, child, you’re still part of the plan. So I rose, oh, I rose from the valley where the bitter wind blows. Took the pieces, every tear, every ache, built a purpose from From each heartbreak, and now I stand, not just surviving, I teach, showing others how to reach from broken to breakthrough. Yeah, that’s the truth. Even broken crayons can make masterpieces too. Ooh yeah. Pages filled with Lessons learned the hardest way. Turn the pain into the words I need to say. To the soul. To the soul that lost the love of feeling low. To the soul just wondering which way to go. ‘Cause I rose up, I rose up from the valley where the bitter wind blows. Took the pieces, every tear, built a purpose from each heartbreak. Now I stand, not just surviving, I teach, showing others how to reach from broken to breakthrough. Yeah, that’s the truth. Oh yeah, even broken crayons can make masterpieces. This is true. Hear me now, you ain’t defined by what went wrong. That same hurt you carry, it can make you strong. Let me show you how the ashes feed the ground, where the strongest, brightest futures can be found. So you rise, oh, you rise. Leave the valley where the bitter wind blows.

Ed [40:07]
Bitter wind blows.

Speaker A [40:08]
Take a He says every tear, every ache, build your purpose from each heartbreak. Stand up tall, start surviving, then teach, show the world what you can reach. From broken to breakthrough, even broken crayons, even broken crayons can make masterpieces. Masterpiece, master, yeah. Masterpiece, yeah, yeah. Broken crayons color bright, turning darkness into light. Masterpiece, yeah. Just look at what you are.