Tracy Brinkmann, host of The Dark Horse Entrepreneur podcast, shares his personal journey of overcoming addiction and finding support from his family. He emphasizes the importance of disconnecting from negative environments and surrounding oneself with positive influences. Tracy discusses the value of honing in on one's message and continuously learning and improving. He emphasizes the importance of providing value to others before asking for help or making a pitch. Tracy also discusses the six C's of entrepreneurship: clarity, connection, communication, capitalization, commitment, and cultivation. The meeting emphasizes the importance of commitment, cultivation, and measurement in achieving success. The participants also discuss the importance of setting boundaries, open communication, and respect in maintaining healthy relationships. They touch on the need for respectful dialogue in discussions about sensitive topics. Finally, they encourage listeners to check out Tracy's podcast for more insights on podcasting and entrepreneurship.
- Tracy Brinkmann to continue sharing his personal journey and insights on The Dark Horse Entrepreneur podcast.
- Focus on disconnecting from negative environments and surrounding yourselves with positive influences.
- Tracy emphasizes the value of honing in on one's message and continuously learning and improving.
- Prioritize providing value to others before asking for help or making a pitch.
- Further explore the six C's of entrepreneurship: clarity, connection, communication, capitalization, commitment, and cultivation.
- Prioritize commitment, cultivation, and measurement in achieving success.
- Set boundaries, practice open communication, and show respect in maintaining healthy relationships.
- Engage in respectful dialogue when discussing sensitive topics.
- We encourage listeners to check out The Dark Horse Entrepreneur podcast for more insights on podcasting and entrepreneurship.
From hitting the rock bottom of drugs, divorce, bankruptcy and even the death of an 18 month old daughter. To running the planning & marketing departments of some of corporate America’s finest companies to his own company helping driven entrepreneurs & coaches, scale their businesses, by crystalizing and monetizing their passions, and now hosting his podcast focused on Driven Dark Horse Entrepreneurs. Tracy Brinkmann, is a business coach, success coach, product creator & podcast editing company owner that realizes life isn’t fair and participation awards do not feed your family or your drive to succeed… This Driven Dark Horse Entrepreneur is looking to share all that he has learned and is still learning about starting, restarting, kick starting and stepping up your entrepreneurial game all while not ignoring that amazing tool between your ears!
[00:00:00] Tracy Brinkmann: In my head as I'm walking, it was probably like a 12 mile walk from the police station that they took me to, back to my condo, um, I heard my dad. And I heard his voice echoing, he was always family first, family first. And you know, coming off of that, I'm sitting there thinking, yeah, great job, family first. You're three month old daughter could have been in social services right now.
[00:00:23] Luckily I had her, uh, with a babysitter cause I knew I was gonna be off on this party binge, great parenting there. Um, so when I got, finally got back home, I picked up the phone I said, Mom, dad, I need help. And to, that was a long story to come back and to fit with what you were saying. It's like I knew I wasn't gonna be able to do this by myself.
[00:00:43] I had two amazing parents and one brother from another mother who stood by me 100%. And the other piece of this, if anyone's out there battling some sort of addiction or abusive scenario, um, you're probably not gonna be able to get out of it if you stay in the same environment, right? So I knew that I had to totally disconnect from everybody I was associated with in that world in order to clean up my act and get back my, get myself back on some sort of straight and narrow, which is what I did.
[00:01:22] My parents let me come move back in, my daughter took the room that was just mine a few years prior, um, and I moved out into the garage of my mom and dad's house and probably slept for a week.
[00:01:38] Ed Watters: To overcome, you must educate. Educate not only yourself, but educate anyone seeking to learn. We are all Dead America, we can all learn something. To learn, we must challenge what we already understand. The way we do that is through conversation. Sometimes we have conversations with others, however, some of the best conversations happen with ourself. Reach out and challenge yourself; let's dive in and learn something right now.
[00:02:29] Today we're with Tracy Brinkmann, he is The Dark Horse Entrepreneur. He's just another guy doing the best he can. Tracy, could you please introduce yourself and let people know just a little more about you, please?
[00:02:46] Tracy Brinkmann: Oh my goodness. Uh, I don't, I'm not sure your podcast is gonna be long enough to tell you everything about me, but we can certainly go there.
[00:02:53] I'm the, uh, I call myself the, the humble Tracy Brinkmann. I always thought it was funny when people said they were humble cause they were talking about themselves when they said it. Anyway, um, like you, like you mentioned, I am the, uh, the host of The, The Dark Horse Entrepreneur Podcast. And, uh, it, it's just one of those spots really,
[00:03:11] uh, uh, more recently it starts focusing in on those, uh, coaches and course creators, those infopreneurs, right? That are looking to, you know, crack in and maybe escape the cubicle they may be stuck in. Um, but they're, they're wrapped up in, you know, overwhelm, maybe a little imposter syndrome. I think we've all fell victim to that one time or another.
[00:03:36] Ed Watters: Yes, of course. You know, and getting out there, uh, putting yourself out there to
[00:03:42] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:03:43] Ed Watters: try to convey something, you're either selling something or you're conveying something to the world,
[00:03:50] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:03:50] Ed Watters: you need this.
[00:03:52] Tracy Brinkmann: A hundred percent.
[00:03:52] Ed Watters: So you really have to hone in on your message, know how to present it the best possible way. I'm still perfecting it, you know, you, you talk to hundreds of people and each time you learn something new.
[00:04:08] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:04:09] Ed Watters: And I, I learned to incorporate each time that new, Oh wow. That's awesome. So that hunger to be that entrepreneur, that spirit that wants to go get it, it's not easy. How did you find it and why do you wanna spread it to other people?
[00:04:31] Tracy Brinkmann: Okay. Wow. That's a, that's a big question right there. It, it's funny is I, I kind of stumbled onto it way back when, when I was a kid. I mean, it really started for me in the elementary days. I was that kid that, uh, okay, so you can see the long gray beard for those that are not, watching on video. If you're just listening, I do have the long gray beard.
[00:04:53] So when I say elementary school, I'm talking way back. And I was the kid that would stop off at the pencil machine with my quarter, or my nickel probably back then, um, get, I think it would dispense like three or four pencils. And then during the course of the day when one of my fellow students were like, Hey, you have a pencil?
[00:05:12] Sure, that will be a, a quarter, please. Uh, that's literally where it started for me. And then on into, uh, high school, you know, I got into cars like most of the young men do. Um, but I learned how to wire stereos or just strip out old stereos and put in new ones. And then I learned to paint cars and everyone was like, Oh dude, can you come paint my car?
[00:05:33] Can you put it in my, Sure. No problem. You know, and there was a lot of bartering going on, a lot of, you know, cash exchanges for that. So I, I think it was just one of those things that for me, it was, it was in my blood. And I, and I grew up, my dad was in the military, so he wasn't an entrepreneur per se, but he was, uh, he was a chef.
[00:05:52] He, he, he ran the mess hall and he knew the, the value of exchange. Of, Hey, you have something I need, I have something you need, let's barter. You know, let's exchange our goods together here. Uh, you, you've got an expertise that I want to tap into and vice versa. And I saw that growing up as a kid. And so I, I easily learned the value of, Okay, Ed, you're really good at this,
[00:06:20] I suck at that. However, I'm really good at this over here and I see you could use some help with it. You know, and so when, if I approach you like that, it's not like I'm, I'm trying to pitch you anything. I'm trying to get something from you. And actually in the, the first book I wrote, um, The Success Atlas, that was one of the things I said. You, if you wanna go after your goals, which was what the book was all about, reaching your goals, you're gonna come upon an obstacle that you are going to need help getting through.
[00:06:50] Because if you didn't need any help, you'd already be there, right? And that help could be some education, some assistance, some finances, any number of things, a relationship you, you need to tap into. And before you go out and say to somebody, Hey, can you help me with this? You need to bring them value, that's the key.
[00:07:10] And even when you're a salesman, someone says, Well, what value can I bring to you? Well, you've just asked for value because that information is valuable. So before you even ever ask that question, you better have already delivered the value to them. So when you ask that question, they will say, Well, I just feel like I need to tell them because he gave me all this good stuff.
[00:07:32] And, and that's a long-winded roundabout answer of, of how I started my path. Um, you know, I went into the military right outta high school. And when I got out, I came, I came out right at the, uh, dot com boom. And I'm talking dot com when it first started, right? And I had a skillset set of, uh, database programming.
[00:07:50] So I started my own little, uh, database programming business in Southern California and everything was going great. And, you know, oh wow, this is awesome. So I learned the benefit of, of, okay, now I can start really leveraging data and then, you know, in this skillset and, and giving it to people. And, uh, so I mean, it was like, it was just like this step ladder of things that happened that brought me along the path.
[00:08:13] But each one of those, each one of those steps, it was really giving somebody something they wanted. And for me, even if I go back to the days of painting cars, when I delivered the person their car and they had that nice fresh paint job and maybe some cool pin striping or, you know, we're talking back in the eighties and, you know, early nineties when the, the painting schemes in Southern California were a little trippier than they are now,
[00:08:38] right? Uh, you know, so you had the pin striping, and the cool colored panels, and everything. And they looked at it and you just saw that look on their face like, Wow. That felt good to me, right? You were an artist, uh, that was my canvas, you know, and things like that. It was just, so when you handed somebody a, a computer program and they're like, Man, this is amazing. And you see their productivity rise as a result of it, that feels good to you. Now,
[00:09:04] making the money helps too, right? That always feels good. But it's that, it's almost became, I almost became a junkie for that feeling and the best way to get that feeling was to deliver value to people. And I think that was, for most serial entrepreneurs, that's where it starts. You know, is they, they, they, they, they need to help people because it makes them feel good that they helped them, and it always does, right?
[00:09:31] Ed Watters: Yeah. Yeah. The, that really is the, uh, game changer. It's like Pavlov dog theory there, you feed them the good stuff, they want more of it.
[00:09:43] Tracy Brinkmann: They want more.
[00:09:43] Ed Watters: So, uh, uh, when, when I read your bio, it talks about The Six Cs of Entrepreneurship, that's interesting to me. Could you relate that to me and tell me what those are and
[00:09:56] Tracy Brinkmann: Sure.
[00:09:57] Ed Watters: how it works?
[00:09:58] Tracy Brinkmann: The, um, it, [00:10:00] it's, when I started doing entrepreneurship coaching, it seemed to me I was seeing this repeated pattern of folks missing some things. And, uh, you know, and you always try to create that, that catchy little way to help them remember it. And back in my, uh, public speaking days, um, it was, you know, you'd give them some sort of, you know, Anagram or three letter code for it,
[00:10:23] right? Well, here it became the six Cs. Um, and I, I'll go through them quick and then, you know, we can, we, I'll chat a little bit about each one. But the, the, uh, the six Cs are Clarity, Connection, Communication, Capitalization, right? It's all about the money. Uh, Commitment and then Cultivation. So now if we go through and chat about those from the entrepreneur standpoint, the clarity really is that, it's that, uh, that process of creation that we were talking about, the, I'm a creator. That ideation, the research, the brainstorming, so that you have this high level of clarity of what it is you wanna do, and who your audience is, and what problem you're solving, right?
[00:11:07] That all kind of wraps all together. Yeah, it's great to have a computer program out there, but if it doesn't solve a problem that your audience has, then you've pretty much wasted your time, right? They're not, I'm not gonna buy that, it's not gonna help me, okay. So having that clarity really about that problem you're gonna solve and who you're solving it for, um, is gonna be, is gonna be instrumental.
[00:11:30] And then you start building that connection. So you wanna identify and find your core audience, right? And inside your core audience, I, I call, um, that's, there's a subset in there called your tribe. And these are the people that are just avid, they're hungry for everything you have. They're like, When's your next book coming out?
[00:11:53] When's your next podcast coming out? Right? Um, but right outside of that is this bigger audience of, of folks that resonate with what it is you're doing, how it is you do it. Um, so you want to build that connection with them. And when I say build that connection, you want to get involved. Uh, you not want to, you don't wanna sell them.
[00:12:12] And you hear a lot of folks talk about using, you know, Facebook groups. And the first thing, well some folks do when they get into the Facebook group is they pitch their, their genius, right? And God love them. Some of them are really heart-centered when they do it, but when they just come out of the gate like that, it's, it leaves a bad flavor in a lot of folks' mouths.
[00:12:33] You want to go, like I was saying earlier, is you wanna bring them that value. You want to get involved and engage with them. And that comes right into number three, which is communication. Now you, you wanna establish that credibility before you share the value that you offer. Because if I, if I don't believe in who you are, Ed, and, and what it is you do, I'm not going to get any of the value.
[00:12:59] I'm not gonna hear it, I probably don't wanna hear it. And that's probably cause I'm jaded by all the other folks that have jumped into whatever platform that I've heard everything else on and just started, Blah, you know?
[00:13:11] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:13:11] Tracy Brinkmann: But when you start delivering the value,
[00:13:13] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:13:13] Tracy Brinkmann: right. Oh, I'm gonna start listening.
[00:13:16] So you share your story, right? Which is, podcasts like this are great opportunities for that, you know, it helps you establish a little credibility. You share the story and you deliver some value. And then you have, say, Oh, by the way, I have this offer over here that could help solve your problem, right? Um, and then I think inside of that, you want to have, uh, I call it, we've heard it, it's called the elevator pitch.
[00:13:38] You know, you, you jump on the elevator and there's your perfect prospect standing next to you and you've got two floors, 30, 60 seconds to communicate how you could solve their problem, right? Have that ready, right? And, and you wanna have it ready in a comfortable format so that you can just roll it off the tongue as conversation, not as a pitch, right?
[00:14:00] I almost hate using that word. Um, number four, capitalization. Obviously, uh, you gotta have money to buy bread and milk. Let's just be honest. Shall, you've gotta monetize your mission. And I think a part of that is to be, to be mindful that you're charging what you're worth. If you look out across the landscape of whatever it is, your niche is, uh, your genre, and you see everyone giving away $27 books and you're looking, it goes, well, mine's worth, you know, $497.
[00:14:32] Do not go out there and sell it for $27, right? Because the, that's what they're gonna expect is $27 worth, right? So be sure to, you know, create something of value, um, but charge what it's worth. Um, and then also there's the, uh, create multiple revenue streams, right? You know, you know, create one from, you know, your online sales, create one from your podcast, create one from your coaching.
[00:14:59] Um, I'm a big fan, uh, I coach a lot of the folks that I chat with, uh, to stop trading hours for dollars, right? Everyone wants to talk about, Oh, I'm, I, I wanna do that one-on-one coaching. Which is fine, right? I, I started there, I still do it at times. The challenge is you have a limit to the number of hours in the day.
[00:15:22] And God love you. Some of those, you have to eat, you have to sleep, and probably wanna spend a little time with your family, right? So now you, you know, the bandwidth is going down. Whereas if you do things like, um, you know, Masterminds, opportunity there, group coaching, opportunity there. Um, I'm a big fan of creating courses, an online course.
[00:15:42] I mean, nowadays it's so easy to do, so easy to deliver, that you could deliver them this amazing content that you hold inside of you, uh, via multiple videos. And you can charge for them and all nine yards. And then when they raise their hand and say, Tracy, I need, I need more from you. Well, now you're able to, uh, charge them more.
[00:16:06] Because now they've gone from whatever, 27, 97, 197 videos you've established, and they're saying, Dude, I love you. I just, I, I'm, we're clicking like this. Um, and they raised their hand. They're coming to you now, and now you can deliver that one-on-one at the next level scale, okay? And the last two, uh, commitment, right?
[00:16:28] Uh, with all this going on, you're gonna want a solid plan of action. And as you build that plan of action to get from wherever you are today to where you wanna be tomorrow and next year and a year after, you wanna hold yourself accountable, right? You wanna be committed to your own success. However, you're also gonna wanna have a coach.
[00:16:49] And, uh, or at least an accountability partner, right? I am a coach. I've had many coaches, I've got one, I got two right now that I'm working with. And, and I've been at this game since the nineties, everybody. So it's not like, oh, I'm gonna go get a coach and he's gonna help me out, and she's gonna help me out, and then I'm done.
[00:17:08] No, no, no. Because then you're gonna reach a new level of challenges, a new level of obstacles. What does, uh, Anthony Robbins say? He says, uh, you know, you know, Being rich doesn't make your problems go away, you just arrive in style, okay? So
[00:17:23] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:17:24] Tracy Brinkmann: I'm not rich, but you know, you, you, each level you get to, there's a new set of problems, right? There's a new set of challenges, new, and at the same time, there's a new set of opportunities, right? Um, and that leads us right into number six, which is cultivation, right? You want to empower your beliefs, you want to overcome that doubt, that procrastination, that, you know, um, the syndrome we were talking about earlier, that imposter syndrome we all seem to fall victim to. Discover what it is that motivates you,
[00:17:56] you know, whether it's, like we were talking about earlier, it just, I feel good when I hand over that program, or I see them getting those aha moments when we're going through the coaching, or when I paint that car and the person's driving it and they're going, Yeah, I know I've got the bad car, you know what I'm saying?
[00:18:10] Whatever it is that inspires you. Maybe it's just your family, being able to provide for them. I know a number of folks, they're saying, Hey, if I can get this much money a year, my family's taken care of, that's all I care about. And they actually mean that. So whatever it is that motivates you, you need to work that into, uh, back to number five, your commitment so that you're cultivating it and it all spins together.
[00:18:35] You know, all six of these, it's like this spoke on a wheel. If you rated each one 1 to 10, right? And you're saying, Hey, my commitment is high, but my cultivation is low. Uh, you know, my, my capitalization is zero, you know, my communication is high. And you try to roll that wheel, you're not gonna get very far.
[00:18:55] You're gonna hit that first little bump and you're gonna have to work to try, uh, roll it over. You're gonna, you wanna try and build all these guys out as equal as possible. They'll never be even, right? But you wanna make it that, that wheel turn as smooth as possible is all, if that all makes sense.
[00:19:12] Ed Watters: Yes, it does. And you know, that's years of experience talking.
[00:19:16] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:19:17] Ed Watters: So, you know, those bumps, they, they just show up and they will.
[00:19:23] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:19:23] Ed Watters: So trying to plan for each and every one of them, that doesn't happen either. But knowing how to traverse troubles and minimizing the impact
[00:19:38] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:19:38] Ed Watters: of trouble
[00:19:39] Tracy Brinkmann: Hundred percent.
[00:19:40] Ed Watters: that, that really helps. So when, when you go into a project and you, we all have desired outcome for this project, after so long, it doesn't [00:20:00] reach that, it really tends to kick our, oh, bummer switch in. And
[00:20:06] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:20:06] Ed Watters: that imposter syndrome starts kicking into us.
[00:20:10] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:20:11] Ed Watters: How can we tell ourselves to be patient and sometimes even move on and try something different to motivate a little more and try a different approach? When do you know how and when to do that?
[00:20:30] Tracy Brinkmann: That's a, that's a great question. And, uh, that is really one of those situation by situation kind of things, right? It's like, oh, good God, you see, keep, keep on keeping on. We always hear that, you know, Hang in there baby for
[00:20:42] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:20:42] Tracy Brinkmann: everyone's here.
[00:20:43] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:20:43] Tracy Brinkmann: Um, at some point you, it's like, okay, it's just time to let go.
[00:20:48] I, I remember years ago, uh, my brother, right before he passed away, he was, we were texting back and forth and he said, Dude, I'm at the end of our, end of my rope. And I told him, Okay, well put the rope down, which is just a new way of looking at something, right? It's like, okay, I, I'm so wrapped up in my stress that I could actually set that down and go relax and then come back and look at it with fresh eyes, which is usually step one of what, if, if anyone's, you know, struggling with a project, with a, um, uh, a venture that they're going on. And it's like, God, it's like I'm beating my head on a wall. Sometimes
[00:21:27] it's a really good idea to just, okay, let's step back, let's take a bigger view, right? And one of the things I'm a big fan of is some sort of metric, right? Of progress or lack thereof, because I'm not a fan of failure. Hey, I'm gonna try something and I'm not gonna get the results I thought I was gonna get,
[00:21:52] okay? You might call that failure, Mr. or Miss Listener, I do not. I call that feedback because yesterday I didn't know about that result, today I do. Now I have a new set of information, I'm gonna talk about all the data, right? Here comes my computer geek coming out. I have a new set of data that I can look at and say, All right, well that works, this worked, that, this, yes, no.
[00:22:17] Oh, here's kind of where I keep hitting my, hitting the wall, right? And if you have different metrics set up, and these metrics could be business metrics, they could be personal value metrics, whatever the metrics are that make sense for your project or venture. Um, you, you wanna say, Okay, here's what I want.
[00:22:39] Let's use something simple like a, a sales page. I want to get, let's make it even simpler, let's use an opt-in page for all our, our burgeoning entrepreneurs out there. The first thing anyone tells you to do is have a freebie, some sort of giveaway like The Six Cs of Entrepreneurship, right?
[00:22:58] First thing you want to do is say, Hey, come to my page. Go to www.my website.com/freebie, whatever it is, okay? Now you've got your message out there, your traffic's gonna start coming in. A metric for that is, okay, how much of that traffic? Okay, good. Now we got that. I know that metric it's doing, it's going to go up and down,
[00:23:19] it's not gonna be steady. It's like the weather, some days are cold, some days are hot. Now the metric you wanna pay attention to next is how many of them sign up, right? What's my conversion rate? I get a thousand people in and a hundred people gave me their email addresses. Okay, good. Right? I got a 10% conversion rate,
[00:23:40] cool. Now I can start tweaking things. Oh wow. All of a sudden I got, you know, all of a sudden I get this swath of traffic and it goes from 10% to 5. Maybe it's bad traffic, right? Or maybe your message is tired, I, I don't know, right? You, you, you start trying different things. So if you have these metrics laid out along different paths, now you've got the hundred people that came in.
[00:24:04] Maybe after, you know, you say, Thank you for signing up, the first thing you do is show them your low ticket. We call it your trip wire offer. You show them your low ticket offer at the $27, whatever it is, right, for you. And 2% of them sign up. You might be like, man, that sucks. I got 10%, 10% of the people to gimme their email address, which is not bad.
[00:24:26] But only 2 of those 10 came across and, you know, pulled out their credit card. Actually, the cold, that's not bad at all, right? I wouldn't complain about it. So then you start playing with each one of those, um, metrics, one at a time. Okay, I'm gonna change the landing page for the email, capture a little bit,
[00:24:45] I'm gonna change one thing and try it. Did it go up? Oh, did it go down? If it goes down, you go back. If it goes up, that's your new baseline, right? You start using that and you change something else. And you just keep, it's like life. You just keep trying something new. If you're gonna go out to the club to try and hit on the ladies and that line that you keep using gets you slapped in the face, it's probably a good idea to stop using that line. I'm just saying,
[00:25:10] Ed Watters: That's,
[00:25:11] Tracy Brinkmann: okay.
[00:25:11] Ed Watters: That's a good idea.
[00:25:12] Tracy Brinkmann: If the line keeps working, well, you're gonna keep using it. Some guy tells you a new line, you try it, and it worked even better, you're going to use the new line, right? So it's the same principle right there, you know? And so again, I come back, you have these metrics set up and you can do the same thing in, in personal development.
[00:25:30] That's where I really started watching it. It's like, okay, um, when my daughter passed away, right? I, I could have went straight into the black abyss of drugs or alcohol and I, I, because I had been there previously, right? And I had done it before on previous adventures. Um, I decided I didn't want to, so I threw myself into personal development.
[00:25:51] And, you know, back, back at this time, the, the, the kings of the world were touring all the time. The Jim Rohns the, you know, the Tony Robbins, the Zig Ziglars, right? These are, and I was out there seeing them all the time. And they, they tell you all these great things, which is awesome as long as you action some of that great knowledge.
[00:26:13] And I was, I was putting into place and seeing great results. I mean, I ended up getting five promotions, I was on my corporate career at this time, five promotions in three years. Unheard of, right? A company like Coca-Cola, what? How do you do that? And that's what happened. People started coming to me, How are you doing that?
[00:26:32] And I'm like, Well, I'm just listening to these people over here and I'm taking action, you know? But it was like what you said earlier, I took bits and pieces of it. Oh, I like what Anthony says here, that fits in my life, I'm gonna use that. Oh, Tony Robbins, he said this right here, I'm gonna, I'm gonna use that.
[00:26:48] And Zig said this. So now I had my own formula of success that fit my life. And I started, you know, doing those things and it kept going up. So I kept doing it and once I saw it wasn't working anymore, I would go back and reread and re-listen and revisit. And I learned new things. Even in the books, right?
[00:27:11] You, you grab a book and you read this amazing book, oh my gosh, this was the greatest book since sliced bread. And I got these neat little tidbits and I'm gonna try these two or three things, right? And then you go back and read that same book a fall, a year later, three years later, five years later, you're gonna find new tidbits.
[00:27:29] Why? Because you weren't ready for them before, right? You needed those other tidbits to get you to where you are now. So now when you reread this book, it's the same book, the words were there before, you know they were, you, your mind just said, no, you're not ready for that right now. Or whatever power you believe in said, No, you're not ready for that, you need to do these things first. And now that you have, you're ready to take that next step, right? And so, again, another long-winded answer to your question, but I think
[00:27:58] Ed Watters: That's podcasting.
[00:28:00] Tracy Brinkmann: That's, that's podcasting, right? And so for me, it it, we're talking personal things like, uh, I'm holding up my journal here as I was talking about books, it's my whole journal. I put, here's the things I want to do. Some of these things will end up falling off, I will never do them. But the point is, the moment I thought, Yeah, that's a great idea, I wrote it down. Because for me,
[00:28:21] Ed Watters: Yes.
[00:28:22] Tracy Brinkmann: I want my brain to know that whenever you give me an idea, I'm gonna pay attention, I'm gonna write it down. I may never act on an idea anytime soon, I may act on that idea two years from now. But the point is, brain, I'm listening to you. Keep giving me ideas because eventually you're gonna give me one, I'm gonna act on it, the, the, the sky is gonna, Right? And
[00:28:45] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:28:45] Tracy Brinkmann: We're happy about it.
[00:28:47] Um, it's when you're not paying attention to the ideas, or the metrics in your business, or in your life, uh, that you keep hitting the wall over and over and over again. And it comes to, for me, I think one of the biggest lessons, uh, I will tell anybody about life and even business, is that there's gonna be a lesson you need to learn.
[00:29:10] And that's, you know, probably gonna come from the obstacle that you're facing right this minute. You're, you're, everyone who's listening right now is thinking of some issue they're, they're tackling right this moment. They're like, Man, he's gonna gimme this amazing piece of advice. Yeah, here it is, you need to learn something in other to get, in order to get through that obstacle. Over it, around it, bash through it, go under, I don't care how you get through it, right? You need to learn something and until you learn that lesson, life, God, Allah, Buddha, business, whatever, is going to keep putting that obstacle in front of you. And sometimes
[00:29:45] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:29:46] Tracy Brinkmann: the lesson you gotta learn is from within, rather than from without. So sometimes you get to stare at that man or that woman in the mirror and go, All right, dude, Tracy, it's you and me, man. You, you, you keep hosing up, we have to fix this. I don't know what it [00:30:00] is. You, you, you know what I'm saying?
[00:30:01] Ed Watters: That's right. That's right, Tracy. Because, you know, it's hard to humble ourselves at times. And sometimes the, the kicker is you did it to yourself.
[00:30:13] Tracy Brinkmann: There it is.
[00:30:13] Ed Watters: So, you know, I, I've lived it many, many times and you know, digging out of those steep pits of disparity, it, it can really grind. Now, I've, I've had help along the way. You, you've mentioned that, everybody needs help.
[00:30:33] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:30:33] Ed Watters: And sometimes humbling ourselves to accept that we need help, that is the key to get over that hump.
[00:30:43] Tracy Brinkmann: Oh my gosh, right? Stop, stop, stop trying to, stop trying to push open that big wooden door all by yourself. Um, one of the other big, um, I call it one of the big abysses in my life, if, you know, if life is a rollercoaster, I've had three major dips. One was drug addiction, the other was the loss of my daughter, which I mentioned earlier. And then the last one was, uh, an awful divorce and a bankruptcy that kind of all went together all at the same time,
[00:31:11] right? In, in the first one, when my, uh, when I got hooked on, it was methamphetamines back, all those great days, right? Back in the eighties,
[00:31:21] Ed Watters: The eighties. Yes, the eighties.
[00:31:23] Tracy Brinkmann: Anybody who's ever seen the movie Blow, Right, with Johnny Depp, great movie. Uh, it was that time for me. That's when I was making all that money with that computer programming business I was in, I was talking about, right? Landed this big client, went out to celebrate, hey. But then I was sitting there sharing with this one guy, How am I gonna get all this done? It was, it was, it was a, a mountain of work and I was willing to take it on. I was, I was young and, uh, I was gonna take on the world. And, uh, he put out this little white powder and says, Well, this'll help you get a lot more done in a shorter period of time.
[00:31:57] And he was right. Unfortunately, I got addicted to the damn stuff to the point where I was selling it to support my habit. To the point that about two years later, uh, the police kicked open the door of my condo. Now, luckily, you know, knock on wood, he says, um, I was not home when that happened. I was off on a four day party binge, but when I got back on Sunday morning, uh, you know, you're, you're walking in and it's just like the scene you see in the movies, right?
[00:32:29] Furniture's tipped over everywhere, just clothes thrown all over the place, there were fruity pebbles and instant potatoes poured out on the floors. They were looking for whatever it was they were looking for, which they didn't find, um, thank goodness. Um, but while, while I was starting to straighten things up, uh, two detectives come knock on the door.
[00:32:47] And, uh, now mind you, let's go back, this is Sunday morning, let's go back to Thursday evening when my party binge started and the first thing I did was go out with a buddy to the shooting range. Now this is Southern California, okay. Los Angeles area, Southern California. We go to the shooting range and he, I had no guns at the time,
[00:33:05] I didn't own any and uh, he did. And uh, so as we're leaving the shooting range, I'm like, Hey, I think I'm gonna come back here tomorrow or Saturday, or actually, I invited him to come back cause he was the one with the weapons. Um, he says, No, I can't make it. I said, Well, I wanna come back, can I borrow your guns to come back here and then I'll, I'll swing by and drop them by your house?
[00:33:25] And that's how close friends we were. He's like, Sure, no problem. So I put them in my briefcase. Now let's fast forward to Sunday morning, I never went back to the firing range, by the way. Um, the, the detectives knock on the door and I answered the door. I introduce myself. Do you have any ID? Sure it's over here in my briefcase.
[00:33:41] Uh-oh. Now mind you, I'm not thinking back to Thursday. I'm thinking about these two good gentlemen standing in front of me. And, uh, I go to get my wallet, which is in the briefcase. So, and I open the briefcase to get my wallet and one of the detectives saw the two rather large weapons. Uh, you know, they were just handguns, but still they were rather large handguns, uh, in the briefcase and yelled, Gun! And tackled me to the, uh, to the couch and, uh, handcuffed me.
[00:34:09] Now, mind you, I'm pro-police. I don't blame them. If I'd have been him in the same scenario, I'd done the same thing. There's some dudes, you know, alleged, air quotes, right? An alleged drug dealer's reaching into a briefcase for guns, I'm gonna do the same thing to protect myself. So anyway, they take me downtown and ask what I'll call all the right questions.
[00:34:32] They knew all the right names, they knew all the right locations. And I'm like, I don't, I don't know what you're talking about, I don't know that person. Who, right? Um, and I don't know if I went through about 24 hours, so just maybe 18 hours or so they finally let me go. And I'm walking back home and I'm thinking, Oh my God, I have a three month old daughter.
[00:34:53] I can't keep doing this, right? It was selfish of me. And in my head as I'm walking, it was probably like a 12 mile walk from the police station that they took me to, back to my condo, um, I heard my dad. And I heard his voice echoing, he was always family first, family first. And you know, coming off of that, I'm sitting there thinking, Yeah, great job, family first.
[00:35:17] Your three month old daughter could have been in social services right now. Luckily I had her, uh, with a babysitter cause I knew I was gonna be off on this party binge, great parenting there. Um, so when I got, finally got back home, I picked up the phone, I said, Mom, dad, I need help. And just, that was a long story to come back and to fit with what you were saying.
[00:35:38] It's like I knew I wasn't gonna be able to do this by myself. I had two amazing parents and one brother from another mother who stood by me 100%. And the other piece of this, if anyone's out there battling some sort of addiction or abusive scenario, um, you're probably not gonna be able to get out of it if you stay in the same environment, right?
[00:36:06] So I knew that I had to totally disconnect from everybody I was associated with in that world in order to clean up my act and get back my, get myself back on some sort of straight and narrow, which is what I did. My parents let me come move back in, my daughter took the room that was just mine a few years prior,
[00:36:25] um, and I moved out into the garage of my mom and dad's house and probably slept for a week, you know, as I tried to clean up my body first. I didn't go to a rehab center, I just like cold turkeyed it, you know. And I'd get up every few hours and mom'd make me a sandwich and I'd do the bio stuff and I'd go back and fall asleep again.
[00:36:42] And, um, after about a week, week and a half, I, I got up. But I had taken that, that mule side's kick to the head, right? That self-confidence kick to the head. I could have easily gone right back out there and started programming for, you know, picked up my entrepreneurial business, started programming, uh, for, uh, small businesses and medium sized businesses like I had been doing, but I didn't feel like I was worthy of it.
[00:37:09] You know, I, I, I, I kept picturing this scenario in my head as I'd go into pitch some business, didn't I just see you down the road not too long ago shooting pool and doing lines on the bar? You know what I'm saying? You know, and so that was ringing in my head. So I, I actually started doing odd jobs, you know, warehouse jobs. And you know, I did, I worked on the dock at a, you know, the, the swing shift, I started doing, you know, uh, back then there were work, the, the Kelly services where you go rent yourself out to some temporary job
[00:37:42] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:37:42] Tracy Brinkmann: for a little while. You know, doing accounting or book, book filing, or whatever. And, uh, for, I did that for about six, nine months until I finally got okay. Built up the confidence, all right, I'm back, I'm feeling good again. And, uh, that ebb and flow of entrepreneurship was still kind of up and down for me and I had a new daughter. So I decided to, you know, step my foot into the corporate America ring and was lucky enough right outta the gate and landed a, you know, a really decent job with, uh, Coca-Cola, which started my corporate career. Uh, obviously I, I alluded to that a little bit earlier and you know, I was with them 12 years.
[00:38:20] Ed Watters: Yeah, life. It, it throws things. And the drug, the drug road, it, it sure took a lot of people down.
[00:38:30] Tracy Brinkmann: Oh my gosh.
[00:38:31] Ed Watters: But
[00:38:31] Tracy Brinkmann: I, I, I can't tell you how many people I watched just completely fall off the cliff.
[00:38:35] Ed Watters: Oh, yeah. Yeah. But to be one of those survivors and, you know, I, I've been there. I've had the, you know, guns drawn on me, I've been raided, uh, I've been through all of that.
[00:38:51] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah. So you feel me on this one, yeah?
[00:38:53] Ed Watters: Yeah, yeah. I've got a brother, you know, still in the penitentiary today. Uh, three total that's went there. My oldest brother, you know, he escaped and was killed with his best friend in a high speed auto chase with the cops. So living that, I understand it well. And getting out of it, that is the miracle of everything. And you know, Tracy, you, you, you said earlier, Changing the people that you're around. That is the key,
[00:39:38] Tracy Brinkmann: It is.
[00:39:39] Ed Watters: changing your environment, the people, the belief that you have. And start loving yourself and believing in yourself.
[00:39:49] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:39:50] Ed Watters: That's what it takes, man.
[00:39:51] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah. And, and sometimes,
[00:39:53] Ed Watters: Once you figure that out,
[00:39:54] Tracy Brinkmann: and you don't have to start loving yourself 800 pounds worth, you can just start loving [00:40:00] yourself, you know, a spoonful at a time and you just gotta pick a weight.
[00:40:04] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:40:04] Tracy Brinkmann: And here's, here's the other great piece of advice I would give you, right? And I learned this while going through that is, people are gonna treat you the way you let them treat you.
[00:40:15] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:40:15] Tracy Brinkmann: So when you're on the street, and that, that was street knowledge I came up with right there, that's where I heard that first, people are gonna treat you how you let them treat you. And if you take that in,
[00:40:24] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:40:25] Tracy Brinkmann: that street knowledge into daily life, man. You, you, that's, that's wisdom that, uh, you, you can't buy or pay for because people are going to, there are, there are users everywhere. And I don't mean drug users, I mean, there are people that are users,
[00:40:42] Ed Watters: Right.
[00:40:42] Tracy Brinkmann: right? I, I wanna believe in the good heart of man. But let's be honest, there are
[00:40:48] Ed Watters: Right.
[00:40:48] Tracy Brinkmann: users out there to, to pick away at that belief. Um, but there are lots of great people too. But if you just put your foot down and say, You know what dude? I, I'm not, I'm not that. Please, you know?
[00:41:00] Ed Watters: Right.
[00:41:00] Tracy Brinkmann: And, and if you have to have that in your life, then perhaps we're on, not meant to be. And whatever that means. And sometimes that is just a tough conversation to have cause you're probably having that conversation with someone, uh, closer to you than you'd like to have to say that to. You know, uh, I mentioned my brother from another mother. I mean, I met him, I was 16, he was 14 and we just clicked. It was just something there, right? It was just one of those weird, Oh my God.
[00:41:29] Ed Watters: Yeah.
[00:41:29] Tracy Brinkmann: I don't know if you, soulmate things maybe, right?
[00:41:31] Ed Watters: Right.
[00:41:32] Tracy Brinkmann: And for our entire life, all the way up to, and he passed away, it was eight years ago now. Um, And he was, you know, what, three year, two year, two or three years, my, my junior. But all the way through, uh, our, our entire relationship, his friends and, and, and my brothers is what I call them, is we could say those things, you know, that smack upside the head. You dumb ass. And I hope, I don't know about cursing, I didn't ever ask that. But, uh,
[00:41:58] Ed Watters: No, that's fine.
[00:41:59] Tracy Brinkmann: We could have those conversations. Like there's a, here's a perfect one, I was getting ready to marry the lady who I ended up going through that wicked divorce with. And, uh, you know, when I went and told him and his wife, who, uh, we're still good friends to this day, um, he pulled me aside after the announcement and the, and the hoopla's and everything.
[00:42:15] He pulled me aside and he says, Dude, you know, you know, I, I hate that bitch, right? And, and he was just, he was just laying it out there. He says, If you, goes through with this, I'm gonna honor it. And you know, I, I, I love you, brother, but I just want you to know how I feel now, right now. I'm like, Dude, I respect you.
[00:42:36] And, and, and I appreciate him just being that honest about it. And it was never like this big scene, or he would never come over to my house or anything like that. He was just letting me know, Dude, this girl is awful for you. He could see it, I couldn't, you know, and that's, that's those lessons that you've have to look back and learn that lesson.
[00:42:58] Because if I didn't, right, if I didn't, when my, when my daughter passed away, if I hadn't taken the time to look back at my drug days and learn the lesson, and that I should have learned coming out of that about being selfish and doing everything all for myself. Party, party, party, greed, greed, greed, right? I probably would've went right back to that, you know, alcohol or drug addicted environment when she passed away
[00:43:22] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:43:23] Tracy Brinkmann: as a coping mechanism. But because I had learned, I had taken a minute to stare into the abyss, into the scariness of the man in the mirror, um, I had, I had that in alcohol camp, I can't do that. So I did something else and it was positive. Luckily, as I had mentioned, I threw myself into personal development, which started a whole new amazing path for me. Um, however, it doesn't mean I had learned all my lessons yet, right? Because as I said, Life is gonna keep throwing those lessons in front of you.
[00:43:52] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:43:52] Tracy Brinkmann: So I, now I had this relationship that, uh, you know, I had two kids with. And, uh, you know, the same message that saved me before was actually throwing me deeper, deeper into the abyss when my dad, you know, I heard that dad voice again, family first, family first. So I stayed married and I wanted to make sure the kids were off and out of the house and grown. Because the minute my youngest turned 18 and got outta high school, and her and her fiance at the time decided to, you know, okay, we're gonna move out on our own,
[00:44:26] that's when I looked at, into the now ex-wife and I said, This isn't gonna work. She says, You know, you're right. And I thought it was gonna be, you know, oh, that, that, that conversation went really easy. Well, you know, some people's personalities are, are, are a little more challenging there. They, they, they, they, they're like the sniper in the night,
[00:44:44] right? They come at you on, from the side. Anyway, um, so I, I came out of that going, Okay, another kick to the head. And, but rather than wallowing in it, I remember this, I pulled out my old journal I've got around here somewhere and I sat down and said, Okay, there's a woman out there for me. I know there is, right?
[00:45:03] I have to stop chasing all the visual things and, what do I want in a partner? I didn't even say wife at the time, I wrote down partner. Cause that to me is what it was, it was a partner in life. And I think it was one of the keys, it, wife, oh, okay, I just got out of a wife, so I didn't want to use that word, partner.
[00:45:25] And I started writing all the, you know, I'm a guy, let's, let's be honest. I wrote all the usual things we would think of first, right? I want her to have long hair, I want her to have blue eyes, I want her to be, you know, small and thin and, you know, take care of herself. Okay, good. Let's get past that. But then what, what I wanted her to believe in, what I wanted her to be as a personality,
[00:45:45] you know, what, what I want her beliefs in raising children to be. Cause that was one of the big things me and my ex-wife butted heads on, we differed on so many core values. And what was really cool about this, I wrote all that down. Just, it was just like my, my heart and my mind is kind of vomiting on the page.
[00:46:02] I got it out, I got it out on paper. I ended up meeting this person probably about six or eight months later online of all things, right? And she lived in San Francisco and I at that time lived in Ohio. And we started communicating and talking and then we ended up meeting in Las Vegas, you know, neutral ground. Kind of feel things out and things progressed from there.
[00:46:25] Uh, we've been married six going on seven years now. And it's an amazing relationship. It's one of those ones where I could walk up and talk to her and say, Um, you know, what you said last night, it really hurt my feelings. And it wouldn't be like she'd be all defensive. Well, you know, if you hadn't done this, I wouldn't have had to say it. It would've been, she would sit down and say, Really? Well, here's what I was trying to convey.
[00:46:46] And I said, Well, here's what I heard, you, you know? You, uh, and that has totally changed me as a person because I don't have to walk around on eggshells, I'm not defending myself about things, you know? It's, anyway, it's amazing.
[00:47:02] Ed Watters: Yeah. Well, that's, that's good. You know, Tracy, one of the hardest things that a lot of people have problems with is being honest with the one they love the most.
[00:47:15] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:47:16] Ed Watters: Because they don't wanna offend them. They don't want to,
[00:47:19] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:47:20] Ed Watters: you know, uh, shed dirty light on themselves or whatever. There's many reasons.
[00:47:25] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:47:26] Ed Watters: But the moment I said, No more lies, and it was open and I'm gonna communicate how I feel without hate or animosities.
[00:47:40] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:47:41] Ed Watters: That is when my wife and I's relationship really started to get good for me.
[00:47:48] Tracy Brinkmann: Nice.
[00:47:49] Ed Watters: And I, I, I've been with my wife since I was 17.
[00:47:55] Tracy Brinkmann: Sweet.
[00:47:55] Ed Watters: And, uh, yeah. I'm getting close to the 6 0 mark now. So we've, we've been together for a while.
[00:48:05] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:48:05] Ed Watters: And, uh, relationship, we're about to have our anniversary the 29th of this month and it's, it's one of the joys that I have because I realize it is what I have, the relationship that I have means everything to me and it's what my life truly is. Uh, it's what I've been trying to understand since I was a boy. So that communication, that truth to one another and, you know, just, hey, it is what it is. I can't change what it is,
[00:48:52] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:48:52] Ed Watters: so here's what it is.
[00:48:54] Tracy Brinkmann: I think one of the challenges,
[00:48:55] Ed Watters: That's the key.
[00:48:56] Tracy Brinkmann: I think one of the challenges that, uh, we as a society, and I speak from, you know, being here in the United States, right? I don't know where any of the listeners might be at this moment. But we, we as a society, especially over the last, oh, what decade or two, um, the, the role models of relationships have gotten not so harmonious, right? So you said you're reaching the 6 0, so you and I grew up watching the same kind of shows, right? We're talking The Partridge Family and Leave It To Beaver.
[00:49:32] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:49:32] Tracy Brinkmann: You, you know, we're talking those shows where
[00:49:34] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:49:34] Tracy Brinkmann: the, the man and the woman, they had their differences, right? Even Lucille Ball and Ricky, they had their, they had their differences, but they, they, they still, they worked, they worked together to solve problems,
[00:49:46] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:49:47] Tracy Brinkmann: right? We're talking about The Brady Bunch,
[00:49:48] Ed Watters: A symbiotic relationship.
[00:49:49] Tracy Brinkmann: they solved all those problems in 30 minutes or less. And you're like, how do they do that? You know? But as, as time has gone on, those stable, what? [00:50:00] Nuclear family? Is that the old, uh, the old code word for it, right? Those stable, uh, nuclear family, uh, role models, they're kind of gone. And you look at the relationships that are depicted on TV and in the movies, and there's a lot of butting heads. I mean, it, it's become standup comedy to tear down your spouse. I mean,
[00:50:22] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:50:23] Tracy Brinkmann: comedians have made entire careers about this. And me and my wife look at each other and go, I don't get it, this is not funny. You know, it's not funny to stand up and, and just bash someone who you spend your life with, right? Who's there for you through the good and the bad and the ugly, you know? And then you look at someone like, um, uh, Steve Harvey who does not do that,
[00:50:45] Ed Watters: Yes.
[00:50:46] Tracy Brinkmann: Right? He's the, he's the polar opposite. He's always putting his wife up on this pedestal and he'll make jokes about that, which, okay, that's cool, go for it. But I, I think there's a, there's a challenge in the role modeling that has come, come across over the past couple of decades, you know? So, you know, hopefully your kids, I don't even know if you have children, um,
[00:51:07] Ed Watters: I do not.
[00:51:08] Tracy Brinkmann: Oh. Hopefully the kids that you, uh, are impacting, uh, wherever they are, um, are seeing that relationship that you have with your MRS. And I'm hoping my kids see mine with my MRS. and, you know, they see that and going, Okay, it is possible. It's not like it is over here on TV. I don't have to, you know,
[00:51:26] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:51:26] Tracy Brinkmann: sexualize myself. I don't have to, you know, be abused mentally or physically to have what it is I'm looking for anyway.
[00:51:36] Ed Watters: Well, well, that's respect. You know Tracy, a lot of people, they don't get that. It's just simple respect.
[00:51:44] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:51:44] Ed Watters: My, I, I don't agree with my wife on everything. We, we definitely have our opinions on, uh, things that, we, we do still have a lot to work out, every day brings new challenges. But like you said, People are observing that no matter who they are.
[00:52:08] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:52:08] Ed Watters: You know, you walk into the store, my wife and I, we hold hands and,
[00:52:13] Tracy Brinkmann: Same here.
[00:52:14] Ed Watters: uh, recently, recently I heard that, uh, reporter talking about, Well, that's just so, why do you need to do that and?
[00:52:27] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:52:28] Ed Watters: Well, because I love that person
[00:52:30] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[00:52:30] Ed Watters: and it feels good to have that intimate touch right there. And that's not sexual in any way, that's just respect.
[00:52:40] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:52:40] Ed Watters: And, and I think, you know, with the Kardashians out there and these influences that might not be something that I would agree totally with.
[00:52:55] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:52:55] Ed Watters: You know, there are those that wanna live that and that is fine, but there's always going to be troubles there. And when we realize that, we can change that. And all it takes is simple respect.
[00:53:14] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:53:14] Ed Watters: And it starts with respecting ourselves enough to care about the one we love.
[00:53:20] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:53:21] Ed Watters: And I think we really lack in a society, especially here in the United States with that anymore. And I think
[00:53:31] Tracy Brinkmann: I agree.
[00:53:31] Ed Watters: any, any person that has a relationship past five, six years, it's, it's a miracle anymore.
[00:53:42] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:53:42] Ed Watters: I, I was just posting yesterday about going into this reflection period. I'm often in a reflection period about why I'm so grateful for what I have. Because what I have is not free, it did not come free. My father is a World War II veteran, he's passed now. But that, that respect came from that man and he put it into us. Respect your elder, respect women, respect, you know, and it was always that key word, respect. I, I really think we need more respect in our world, Tracy.
[00:54:32] Tracy Brinkmann: I do. I, I think there's more, there's a, there's an opportunity for all of us to, um, and it goes inward as well as outward, I keep talking about that. You were talking about reflection. You gotta respect yourself. Inside that respect for yourself is your ability to say, to even a loved one, Dude, what you just did, or what you said, it makes me uncomfortable, right? I don't like it, I, I, I think, uh, I'm polar op, whatever the conversation needs to go to, uh, and you can do that with respect. It doesn't have to be spitting vitriol or anything like that.
[00:55:09] Ed Watters: Right.
[00:55:09] Tracy Brinkmann: Like, like I said, you know, my, my brother, he, we had many smack upside the head moments, you know?
[00:55:15] Ed Watters: Yep.
[00:55:16] Tracy Brinkmann: Which is fine, I, I, I appre, I actually respected him for his ability to do that. Um,
[00:55:22] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:55:22] Tracy Brinkmann: and then there's, I think there's, there's those that expect the respect, right? Which, okay, let's, let's pause for a moment. I can give you the respect. And when I first meet you, if I don't know anything about you, I'm gonna, I, I'm gonna hand you a portion of respect. That's just how I was raised. And just what you were saying,
[00:55:44] right? I'm gonna give you that respect. What you do with it, my friend, is all up to you. If you just toss it over your shoulder and it lands on the ground and you leave it there and you just start, you know, speaking, Oh this and oh, whatever, okay, I can respect it. That you've got the right to say your things and what it is that offends you and all these, okay, cool. I also respect myself enough to say, You know what? That's not what I'm about. I'm outty, right? And just leave you
[00:56:12] Ed Watters: That's right
[00:56:12] Tracy Brinkmann: there to to, to stand alone, which is fine. Um, yeah, anyway. I could go down
[00:56:20] Ed Watters: Boundaries.
[00:56:20] Tracy Brinkmann: that rabbit hole.
[00:56:21] Ed Watters: Boundaries. Yeah.
[00:56:22] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah. I mean, here's, uh, and we can go down this rabbit hole if you want to. If not, that's okay. We can reel it back in. I think the past couple of years has, um, shown there's a lot of folks out there that have these fervent beliefs, right? Let's, let's use women's rights for a moment. I'm, I'm all for women's rights, protect the ladies, whole nine yards. If we go back to when you and I were younger, and it was still early in the women's rights, um, arena, none of the advocates for women's rights, be they male or female, were putting down men as a way to get women's rights, right?
[00:57:09] Ed Watters:
[00:57:09] That's right.
[00:57:09] Tracy Brinkmann: I can't think of any, uh, and I have yet to have someone approach me with one. Um, and I've went and looked. But they would, they were always saying, Look, we can do the job as well as a man. Okay, fine, here's your shot, go for it. Somewhere along the way, and this happens in, in, in multiple arenas and multiple discussions, they've decided, whoever they is, decided that the message needs to be, you know, it's not about building me up as a woman, as a, a gay person,
[00:57:39] or as a colored person, a pink, white, purple, blue, whatever, as a child, it's not about building me up, it's about tearing you down, okay?
[00:57:49] Ed Watters: Yes.
[00:57:49] Tracy Brinkmann: You are not as good as me because I'm a woman, or because I'm a bearded guy, or because I'm a podcaster. You know what, you, you feel what I'm saying?
[00:57:59] Ed Watters: That's right.
[00:57:59] Tracy Brinkmann: The message is, it's, has totally shifted from I need to, we need to treat this person with respect and, and elevate them as long as they earn that respect and keep it, right? I'm gonna hand you that respect, and you keep it, and you keep building on it, man, I'm, I'm gonna keep elevating you. And you'll, you'll, finally, you'll reach that point where, okay, this is where we match right here. However, when they flip that, that whole messaging on its ear, and they're saying, No, no, no,
[00:58:28] all right. It's not about the fact that I can do it just as good as you, it's the fact that you suck at it. Okay, wait a minute, that's not respectful. And it's, it's starting this division, which I think is insane anyway.
[00:58:43] Ed Watters: Right. Well, no, that's, that's very needed today. You know, keeping it real is the purpose of Dead America because that's why we feel dead in America.
[00:58:54] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[00:58:55] Ed Watters: People don't wanna own up to truth, reality,
[00:58:59] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:58:59] Ed Watters: and there's a lot of wisdom in that. And I, I don't care if you're purple, gray, green,
[00:59:05] Tracy Brinkmann: Me either.
[00:59:05] Ed Watters: what you love, you know, what you identify as. But you know, when it comes to reality and the way I perceive things, I can only relay what I see, what I perceive. And if you're going to shut that down, there is no movement forward from then on.
[00:59:28] Tracy Brinkmann: There it is.
[00:59:28] Ed Watters: So we, we definitely have to learn what each other perceive and that's the purpose of the Dead America podcast. I, I don't understand what people think, but I definitely want to know because
[00:59:44] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[00:59:44] Ed Watters: it's my world and I live in it.
[00:59:47] Tracy Brinkmann: And that's, that's bringing, that's bringing things back together, right? I, I can be completely different than you, I could be an 18 year old female and we can have, still have the same discussion.
[00:59:57] Ed Watters: That's Right.
[00:59:58] Tracy Brinkmann: There's opposites in the world. [01:00:00] Uh, and I,
[01:00:00] Ed Watters: That's right.
[01:00:00] Tracy Brinkmann: I think that's, I don't know, I think there is probably, I don't wanna say powers, but I, I, I think there are so many people benefiting from the division that they're just keeping it going. Um, and, and the other side of that is, uh, the folks that don't wanna take the time to, to look, right? I said, you, there's gonna be a lesson you have to learn and until you learn it, you're gonna keep getting
[01:00:28] Ed Watters: That's right.
[01:00:29] Tracy Brinkmann: it in your face, right? Uh, and there's lots of people that don't want to, they're too lazy, they're too, uh, focused, they're too selfish, all the things I said I was, right? I'm still selfish,
[01:00:39] Ed Watters: Right.
[01:00:39] Tracy Brinkmann: I have some things I want to do for myself, right? Which is fine, but
[01:00:44] Ed Watters: Right.
[01:00:44] Tracy Brinkmann: I wanna make sure that I'm not doing something for myself to the detriment of those around me, right? If I, if what I do is negatively impacting those I love or those in my sphere of influence, I gotta reevaluate, right? I gotta figure out,
[01:01:01] Ed Watters: That's right.
[01:01:01] Tracy Brinkmann: okay, how do I still get that, that I want and need without negatively impacting those folks? I, I mean, when I, six months into my podcast, I went on, um, a, a podcast guesting tour, and I probably for about three or four weeks, I was doing three and four interviews a week, right? Because I, I, I wanted to get my message out there to get people to come listen to my podcast, and that's a great way to do it. That's why I'm here now, right?
[01:01:31] Ed Watters: Right.
[01:01:31] Tracy Brinkmann: Um, but, you know, finally my wife said, You know, sure would like to see you in the evenings. It'd be kind of awesome. Cause that's when I did all the, the podcast interviews. And so I, I ratcheted it back, you know? I still do it periodically, right? I, I just don't do it with the same intensity. And if I do decide to do one, I'll say, Hey, here's what I'm gonna do, I'm gonna do it for this week, maybe these two weeks, I'm gonna go bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, I'm all out. And then I'm back with you,
[01:01:58] right? Now I'm, I'm level setting myself and I'm level setting her and we both get what we want, okay? She gives a little, I give a little and everyone's happy. That's the best way to do things, right? Just, again, feather that synergy back together and, and work together to create some sort of solution where everyone's happy.
[01:02:18] Ed Watters: Yeah. Yeah. The big key here is opposites attract.
[01:02:23] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[01:02:23] Ed Watters: So don't let those opposites polarize you.
[01:02:28] Tracy Brinkmann: Yes.
[01:02:28] Ed Watters: You know, it's, it's key here. We, we all have something to give this world. And it, it may seem very minute to yourself, but somebody out there needs it. And you, you could save somebody's life by what you have to offer. And, and that's really the key in any entrepreneurial journey. You're out there to try to change lives
[01:02:57] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah.
[01:02:57] Ed Watters: with what you have to offer.
[01:02:59] Tracy Brinkmann: It's your moral imperative to do that, right? If you're not
[01:03:03] Ed Watters: That's right.
[01:03:03] Tracy Brinkmann: putting your, um, call it your superpower, uh, uh, one of my coaches, he calls it your superpower, and I've kind of picked up on that, cause it, it usually is whatever it is someone is good at.
[01:03:12] Ed Watters: Yes.
[01:03:13] Tracy Brinkmann: It's their superpower. And I'm like, Oh my God, how can you do that? And it's like, I don't know, I just,
[01:03:16] Ed Watters: That's right.
[01:03:17] Tracy Brinkmann: just do it, right? Some people have superpower music, you know, we look at some of the greats, you know, the, Michael Jackson's the, uh, Stevie Wonders,
[01:03:24] Ed Watters: Passion.
[01:03:25] Tracy Brinkmann: the, that, there's, that's their superpower. Alright, cool. It's your moral imperative to use your superpower to, to empower and better their, the world around you. Leave it a little bit better than it was when you came in with.
[01:03:40] Ed Watters: Yes. That's right. I like that. Uh, Tracy, our time is running short, I could talk to you for hours. It's,
[01:03:48] Tracy Brinkmann: Right.
[01:03:49] Ed Watters: it's, it's, it's kind of a podcaster thing.
[01:03:54] Tracy Brinkmann: Yeah, I know. I feel you.
[01:03:55] Ed Watters: So do you, do you have any call to action for our listeners today?
[01:04:00] Tracy Brinkmann: You know, what? If anyone's interested in furthering their podcast, their podcasting, their entrepreneurial journey and would like some more tidbits like they've heard here, come on over and check out my podcast, you know, The Dark Horse Entrepreneur, um, and the website, uh, probably the best way to, just send them to the website rather than go, making them search for things. And the website is, uh, darkhorseschooling.com and you can get all the socials from, from the website and the podcast is right there. You can subscribe and check things out.
[01:04:32] Ed Watters: We'll have all those links down below in the blog post. And we really wanna say thank you for joining us today, sharing your experience with us. It, it really does change the world when people open up and tell stories. Thank you, Tracy.
[01:04:48] Tracy Brinkmann: I agree with you a hundred percent. Have a good one.
[01:04:53] Ed Watters: Thank you for joining us today. If you found this podcast enlightening, entertaining, educational in any way, please share, like, subscribe, and join us right back here next week for another great episode of Dead America Podcast. I'm Ed Watters your host, enjoy your afternoon wherever you may be.